Monday 1st of November 2010 and my alarm went off at 8 o'clock and that will give me a few hours before it's time to leave for the airport.
I was running around in my apartment.
- Have I packed this?
- Have I packed that?
So I decided to leave for the airport and no more worries about my packing. Sukhumvit Soi 23 to the airport, we did in just a wee bit more than 30 minutes and I arrived to just after 11 o'clock. I had a spinach pie in the lounge while waiting for my flight.
Thai Airways is my favourite airline, but the food in the lounge is nothing comparing to The Emirates with their salmon and stuff.
So I was pretty hungry when I boarded the flight and we had 3 or 4 main courses to choose from. Spaghetti and meat sauce, I have never been eating spaghetti on a plane before. Noodles, yes, but noodles are easy to serve in comparison with spaghetti. Spaghetti tends to be a little dry after a while.
We started with duck liver and salmon and I was pleasantly surprised when I got my spaghetti, excellent.
And now a day there is hardly any Thai flight I can fly without anyone in the crew recognise me. Today one of the Stewards recognised me and I recognised him as well.
- I know your shirt. Did you fly to China with us.
I recognised him as well and it was not on my flight to Shanghai, it was last time I flied from Manila to Bangkok. Yes, I was a wee bit tipsy but I recognised the guy. It was on the very same flight they gave me the perfume. Well, we will see when I'm flying back home on the 19th of November.
When I finished my spaghetti I was full but I could not resist the fruit and cheese. Fruit is healthy so it was good for my diet.
But I should have skipped the cake, but it was hard to say no, especially when they. Yes, they were practically forcing it on me.
- Have a piece of cake or die!
-OK OK! Never mind my diet!
We arrived to Manila 15 minutes past 7 o'clock and I was the first passenger off the plane. We had not got any custom declarations on the flight so there were some uniformed people handing out the custom declaration forms when we got off the plane. Now I only need to find a pen.
I had expected millions of passenger at the immigration so I was pleasantly surprised when I discovered that it was completely empty so I was through the immigration in less than a minute.
There were 2 guys in charge of the luggage belt and one of them had a pen that I could borrow. I had plenty time to fill up the stupid forms before my luggage came on belt #3.
And as we can see on the clock it's 19:36 and still no sign of our luggage.
I had to wait for 5 or 10 minutes before my remote controlled boats came on the luggage belt and my bag came a minute later.
I dashed through the custom looking for an ATM. The section where I use to get my cash was closed due to renovation. I asked one of the guards where to find an ATM.
- All are closed.
- Where is there a bank?
- Try over there, he said pointing to the other side of the arrival hall.
Most of the banks were closed and they were closing the last bank when I arrived.
- 20000 Peso please!
- Sorry Sir, it is holiday today so we don't take credit cards.
- What the ....
I had to take a taxi to my hotel on credit and when we arrived I went to an ATM to get cash. I was meet by the message “SORRY, CAN'T READ THE INFORMATION ON THE CARD”
- What the is this? A new card and same problem as with my other cards that I have tried to change the last 6 months. I tried one more ATM and my card worked. Good, and I tried my other card on the hotel when paying my room. It worked, nice, seems like they are working.
Amazing, an international airport and no chance to get any money. Very bad service and I'm sure there were more than a few tourists arriving that were impressed by the service.
When I checked in to the hotel they called me from the training centre. They asked if I needed assistance to find the place.
- No, I will take a walk to the place tonight so I find it tomorrow.
It was a 5 minutes' walk to the training centre at Roxas Avenue and it was quite easy to find so no problem to find it tomorrow morning when we start the training.
Tuesday 2nd of November 2010 and I was more dead than alive when I received my wakeup call at 6 o'clock. I was dead tired when I went to bed yesterday but I didn't manage to fall asleep until it was almost 2 o'clock in the morning.
I had my breakfast in the restaurant, a frankfurter with a fried egg. I also ordered a Spanish ham omelette.
- No mushroom please!
5 minutes later the Waitress came with my omelette.
- One omelette without mushrooms.
Of course, the first thing I discovered was, yes, mushrooms. So the omelette was sent back to the kitchen and I moved out on the street with my 2 tea cups so I could have a coffin nail with my tea. Well, never mind smoking in the restaurants on the Philippines, but as respect for the other guests I went out on the street.
And of course, it was nice to have my good morning tea on the street watching the action on Mabini Street.
Our MEDICAL EMERGENCY FIRST AID 1.14 course started at 7 o'clock. Well, was supposed to start at 7 and I was not happy when I was waiting and waiting. I could as well have stayed home in bed instead of sitting here waiting.
Yes, it was almost 8 o'clock when we started and then there were people coming with lists that we had to sign. And on top of that they wanted to take pictures for our certificates. But here I said STOP! When we were finally studying they knocked on the door and they wanted me to come to get my picture taken.
- NO, I'm here to study and I will attend to your photo session as soon as we have a break. PLEASE, don't disturb.
It was a little like one of my Thai schools back in Bangkok. People are coming and going all the time. I'm here to learn or I could as well have stayed home. Same in Bangkok, I get very, well, irritated when people are coming and going as they please disturbing our Thai studies.
And they call me a Nazi when I get annoyed, no, I have paid to study Thai and I want to learn. A different story if they pay me. Then they can come and go as they want.
We started the course by the different organs and then it was time for the CPR and they showed up with a doll in the class room.
During the afternoon there were more waiting and I spoke with one of the nurses at the school. We will start the MEDICAL CARE course next week and she told me that we had to be at a hospital to take care of injured people. She just gaped when I told her that I could not stand to see blood.
Yes, a dream come through, to help out at a Manila emergency ward. By the look of the traffic around here I can just imagine all the horror we're going to see there.
I went to Robinsons around the corner from the hotel for my dinner. Tempura and I had some Teriyaki or whatever it is called. Of course, I can't continue like this. Pizza for lunch at Manila Bay and Japanese for dinner.
Breakfast is included in the hotel, but it was not what I expected. The toast tasted like they had put sugar on it.
So I decided to buy some tuna when I was at Robinsons. I will bring the tuna to the restaurant in the morning and I will eat it together with my tea and hopefully I can get my diet back on track again.
When I had bought my tuna I went straight back to my hotel room and it will be an early night, they will call me at 6 o'clock tomorrow morning again.
Wednesday 3rd of November 2010 and I woke up at 4 o'clock in the morning. So I had to kill time drinking mango juice while waiting for my wake up call. I felt asleep at 10 o'clock yesterday evening and 2 hours of extra sleep would have done me good.
They called 10 minutes before 6 o'clock and I went to the shower and then I grabbed 2 cans of tuna and I went down to the restaurant. I discovered that they had mango on the menu so I ordered 2 mangoes. I poured three cups of tea. I ate my tuna and drank my tea and I finished my breakfast with the mango.
I had 2 cups of tea on the street before I dashed off to the Consolidated Training Centre a few minutes away. It was a beautiful morning and I enjoyed my morning walk to the school. I passed Manila Bay Cafe where I had my lunch yesterday and I decided to go back to my hotel room for 2 cans of tuna for lunch.
The pizza I gad yesterday wasn't very good. It was half a kilo of melted cheese with ham and it must have been enough energy to have got me going for a week.
And the “thin & crusty” bottom was so hard it was impossible to use fork and knife. The first fork was destroyed so they had to bring me a new one. A few minutes later they brought me a steak knife so I should be able to cut the pizza.
We spent yesterday with the live saving techniques. Today we did the physical examination and the time turned quite quick.
No waiting, signing papers and picture taking and it was quite interesting. I learned a lot even though I have been working on the hospital in Sweden when I attended the course in Sweden back in 1996. I have forgotten a lot of the stuff from back then, and of course, when we were discussing the things I remembered some of the stuff we learnt back then.
We have the helicopter drama on M/T Ek-River fresh in mind. We had to save life even though we were ring-rusty and out of training. Well, we finished the day by an assessment and I returned to my hotel.
Back at my hotel room and I decided to have some tuna on my room instead of going to Tempura for some of their excellent Teriyaki stuff.
But I know myself and I won't be surprised if I end up at Tempura tonight when I'm going to Robinsons to buy more tuna. I found some Tuna Paella yesterday and it tasted very good. Actually so good so that's the only thing I have been eating today, well, I had 2 mangoes at breakfast.
Thursday 4th of November 2010 and no, I didn't ate at Tempura yesterday even though it was a close one. I just passed Tempura without stopping for any food yesterday night. Good, my diet is back on the right track again. But I discovered that there were almost 400 calories in a can of the Tuna Paella.
As usually, something I find yummy can't be healthy!
So I have to cut down on the tuna and I only brought one can for my breakfast. Tea, tuna and 2 mangoes and I left for school. A brisk walk and I reached Roxas Avenue 3 minutes later where I stopped to buy a coffin nail from an old lady sitting on the side walk.
My class mates arrived to school at the same time as me so we meet outside. We took the elevator to the fourth floor and we were all excited over yet another day of learning. And when we started class we discovered that we would start the day by studying Pharmacology.
I skipped 7 Eleven and the diet drinks during our break. I went in the other direction with 3 of my class mates in search for some mango juice.
My class mates had noodles while I had my mango juice. And of course, there were 4 small children watching us when we had our break. I bought 4 ice creams for them.
- Thank you!
They ripped open their ice creams and they just threw the paper on the ground. I reacted forcefully. Last year's flooding of Manila was mainly because of, yes, the heavy rain. But all the drainages were clogged with garbage so instead of having the water draining to Manila Bay the streets of Manila was flooded .
- Hold it right there! Don't throw the garbage on the street. Use a bin!
I even had them to go pick up the other ice cream papers they had thrown on the streets. My class mates warned me to buy them ice cream
- They will call all their friends.
And they were right, after 5 minutes we had 20 children around our table wanting ice cream.
I had a can of tuna and some mango at my room during
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the lunch break and when we finished school I went back to my hotel and I ordered a pot of tea to my room and I enjoyed yet another can of tuna for dinner.
I finished my tuna and I studied a little in our book preparing myself for the final assessment tomorrow. Then I will go looking for transportation to Subic Bay so I can deliver the boats on Saturday.
I took a walk down to UN Avenue to look after the company with a shuttle van to Subic Bay. After stopping and asking for directions it turned out that the place was located at Del Pilar.
When I left the place I passed the Best Western Hotel. And there was a BURGER MACHINE across the road from the hotel. I recognised the place, this was the very same hotel I lived in back in 1997. I have always thought that the hotel was located at Mabini Street and as I had never seen it again I thought it was gone.
Of course, I have not been able to find the hotel at Mabini when it's located at Del Pilar.
Well, while out walking I could as well go to have a look at Robinsons just one block away.
And I'm sad to say that I stopped at Tempura. I could not help myself, it was like I was sucked in to the restaurant and before I knew it I had ordered a Teriyaki with extra sesame seeds and 2 Gyu Asupara Maki with extra sesame seeds. A bowl of steamed rice and bottle of water and I had an excellent dinner.
And of course, after the dinner I had to stop to buy a diet drink and a coffin nail. A perfect end of the day, I had given up diet drinks, coffin nails and I had only been eating tuna and mango all day long and now this! Of course, I have to start all over again tomorrow.
I have found a hotel in Subic Bay and I will take a car and driver from Manila early Saturday morning in order to arrive to Subic Bay around noon time.
Well, it's 10 o'clock and time for me to go to bed, maybe a few minutes with my school book before I fall asleep. They will sound the reveille 6 o'clock tomorrow morning and I need to be full of vim to pass the exam and then I have 2 days off before we start school on Monday morning.
Friday 5th of November 2010 and motherf@cker! I went to bed at 10 o'clock yesterday and I felt a sleep 11 o'clock. And I woke up at 1 o'clock and it was impossible to fall asleep again. So I was both tired and in a bad mood when they called me at 6 o'clock.
But when I came out from the shower I discovered that I wasn't as tired as I had expected and I felt pretty good after my morning tuna and mangoes.
A brisk walk to school and I felt even better when I stepped in to the building. My good mood, maybe because of the upcoming weekend. But tonight I will go to bed early, I have asked for a wakeup call for 8 o'clock tomorrow morning. The car will pick me up at 9 o'clock so I will have plenty time for GOOD MORNING tuna and mango.
At the morning break we went back to the restaurants where we meet the ice cream children from yesterday. I ordered a mango juice and my class mates ordered hamburgers. We had been there for 20 seconds when the children arrived. They pulled my shirt asking for ice cream.
- We told you! You can't give away anything here, my class mates said.
We had completed the practical test at 11:30 and I returned to my hotel room for tuna and tea. I stopped in the restaurant on my way up on the room and I asked them to bring a pot of tea to my room.
I checked the Thai stock market first thing. Seems like everything I touch turns to gold. 26% rise when I sold Bangkok Bank and bought PTT & TMB and I have increased my money by 6% in 2 days. If it continues like this I will never have to work again.
But something must be wrong, everything is in the green every day and SET breaks records every day. Time to sell? I remember 1997 and suddenly it was EX rich brokers and investors selling noodle soup along the streets. I was also going in taxis driven by former millionaires. Luxury cars were a give away at auctions. Will we see the same during 2011?
Well, I was in an even better mood when I returned to school for our written exam. We finished at 13:30 and I would have had the time to go to Subic Bay today.
But I will sleep tonight so I can get up early tomorrow morning.
I finished my course by a group picture of my class and I returned to my hotel for a pot of tea and some tuna. And I received an e-mail from my brother, he had changed my hotel to Treasure Island Hotel. Well, never mind, there is a swimming pool.
When I left school I asked them to scan and e-mail the certificate to me. Well, something must have gone wrong and I never received any scanned document.
So I went to Robinsons to scan my document so I could update my web page. I had to walk around for quite a while before I found a shop where I could scan my document. It took a few minutes and I had the PDF file on my memory card in the camera ready to upload to the internet.
I was tired from lack of sleep so I decided to return to my hotel but I passed Tempura by accident. And of course, they recognise me by now.
- HELLOOOO!!! WELCOME!!!
I could not say no, it was like they dragged me inside and they placed me at my usual table. I did not even have to order. My Teriyaki and Gyu Asupara Maki (two) with a bowl of extra sesame seeds was on my table within a few minutes. I could not help but thinking about our favourite waitress at YAMMY in Go:teborg, Sweden.
She also brought me a bucket of sesame seeds and placed at my table. (She is so sweet)
- Please, leave some for the Cook!
I finished my meal and I left for my hotel and I made a quick stop at MINI STOP for two bottles of diet drinks. My first diet drinks for today and my plan was to give it up. But it's Friday and if it wasn't for my early departure tomorrow I would have been in a disco drinking beer instead. So I guess two bottles of diet drinks are better.
And what a difference it will make tomorrow. I will feel like a million in the car to Subic Bay tomorrow. I can imagine this trip if I would have come back to my room 5 o'clock tomorrow morning after a case or two of the best beer in the world, San Miguel Light. I don't even want to think about it. Going back to Manila will of course be totally different story.
Hopefully I can spend the Saturday playing with the racer boats and my nephews and I will be exhausted on Saturday evening and I will go straight to bed.
- Hmm, but if we repeat the helicopter story it will be a totally different story.
Yes, last time I brought a helicopter and it lasted for 1 minute tops. The motherf@cker took off and we never saw it again. Well, a few days later they found the scraped helicopter a kilometre or two away. Luckily enough no one was hit when the darn thing felt down.
Hopefully the fishpond will be safer and we can keep our self busy all day long. And of course, I will bring my swimming trunks so I might spend an hour or two on the beach or preferable in the swimming pool to avoid dangerous fishes and other animals.
Well, time is turning 10 and I'm off to bed and I really hope I can sleep tonight.
Saturday 6th of November 2010 and I had been up for 40 minutes when I got my wakeup call at 8 o'clock. I was in the restaurant with 2 cans of tuna 30 minutes later. I'm better off having 2 cans for breakfast, I don't know when I can have my next meal.
I had 2 mangoes with my tuna, but I will ask them to swap the mango for onions. Mango is pure sugar, tasty but a killer for my diet and I will see if they can chop two onions for me instead when I have my breakfast on Monday morning.
And as every morning , the beautiful Waitress told me that I had beautiful cloths. Yes, I'm used to “Mr Nice shirt” after many flights with Thai Airways. Well, actually I hear it every day, where ever I come in the world. I only know one guy complaining. Well, I guess that he wants people to take him seriously.
I remember one time when we were at a resturant. The waitress came to our table.
- Nice shirt!
And she didnt mean my friend's shirt. We were both (The Waitress and I) looking at the table cloth and then we looked at my friends shirt. Exactly the same.
I checked out from my room leaving my bag behind. The only thing I brought was my laptop and school bag. Of course, I brought the racer boats.
We left my hotel on Mabini just after 9 o'clock and it took us some 30 minutes to reach the tool way, including a stop to fill gas.
I was slumbering in the back seat when I noticed that the driver slowed down. It looked like he was going to leave the high way.
- Is this San Fernando?
- Stay on the high way.
- No, this is the way to Subic.
- STAY ON THE F@CKING HIGH WAY!!!
He took off and he told me that this way was OK.
- GET BACK ON THE F@CKING HIGH WAY!!!
- NO NO! This is the way to Subic, it is a very goo...
We were stuck in traffic before he finished the sentence, trucks, jeepneys and tricycles as long as I could see. We were making 15 km/h and I was angry.
What the hell is wrong with these people? And it's the same every time! They refuse to listen and they never take a chance to learn something. Is this the reason for the persistent poverty around here? OK, you have driving as your profession so you might take proud in not letting someone else tell you how to do it. Especially a foreigner.
But this was a major embarrassment and I could see that the driver was ashamed. We were stuck between rickshaws and other vehicles. I asked why the hell he left the high way.
- I pay you and I told you to stay on the high way.
- This way goes to Subic.
- I'm pretty f@cking sure you can reach Subic on all the roads. It's just a matter on how far and how long time you want to spend.
I decided not to give him any tip. Why should I give this guy a tip. He should have followed my instructions and if I had got us on the wrong track I would have paid for lost time and gasoline.
AS Captain told me on Ek-River: Why should you feel bad when you tell people that maybe they should try to do something different for a living. Yes, feed up pretending like nothing when professionals f@ck up every time they do something.
If he is the one paying I cannot complain, then he can take whatever road he wants. But now I'm paying for a service so he should listen to my advice even if he doesn't like it. Yes, I was just waiting for him to tell me that I was a racist. That one I have run in to many times in foreign countries. I give a suggestion.
- What if you do it like that instead?
- YOU ARE A RACIST!
I see someone doing something that could be done much better and I give a suggestion. So they call me a racist and continue like they use to do and I'm just hanging around waiting for them to be ready. It's their money wasted so I don't care.
My driver was lucky, there was a new built way to the highway about one hour after San Fernando so we could go up on the toll way again. And my driver was surprised to find himself on the high way.
- Ugh! Highway!??!
- Yes, this is what I had been trying to tell you the last hour. If we had stayed on the high way we would have been in Subic Bay by now.
We reached my hotel 20 minutes past 12 and, yes, I gave him a tip. More than his salary, but less, way less than originally planned.
I don't think he had expected any tip because he was beaming of joy.
- THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!
Yes, I didn't want to feel bad about myself so I gave him the tip. He was in a good mood and I was in a good mood. He wanted to wait for me in Subic Bay.
- I will bring you back to Manila tomorrow.
- No, I will take another taxi.
Or maybe I will take the shuttle service, depending on if it will be an early evening.
I got my room, the mini bar was filled with mango juice and hangover milk. Good, I will hopefully stay away from beer tonight. But you never know.
I had been in my room for 30 seconds when my nose started to run. Itching eyes and there must obviously have been something that gave me an allergic reaction. I must have lost 2 kg in 20 minutes, it was running like tap water from my nose and I had to go out.
I called my brother and when they arrived I was in progress of changing room.
I told them that we could take a swim in the hotel pool. But they were on the way to some family day at another swimming pool.
- We have friends waiting for us there.
I just changed to swimming trunks and we took off to the pool. The car was full of pool toys and of course, the new remote controlled racer boats.
We arrived to a place with a pool in the middle surrounded by huts where people were sitting having BBQ. There was a pool table and of course, as this is on the Philippines, there was a karaoke machine blasting music over the area. We ripped open the boxes to the racer boats, just to discover that we needed batteries and tools.
- What the is this?
There were chargeable batteries included, but the batteries to the remote control were missing. And we also needed a screw driver to open that hatch to the battery compartment.
Our best guy went to buy batteries and screw drivers and we were soon having one of the boats up and running.
The second boat was only running on the chargeable battery and of course, the charger had a European plug. So it was not possible to charge the battery.
One working boat and two kids jumping up and down delirious with anticipation. Yes, it was a set back. But my nephews grew tired of the darn boat after, well, less than 3 minutes.
And I understand them, according to the pictures on the boxes the boats should make speed enough to blow of your shirt. Hell, I was even afraid to leave them alone with the “KILLING MACHINE”.
Imagine the “KILLING MACHINE” speeding across the pool hitting one of the other children. Just the thought of it made me piss my pants.
No reason to worry, the tarn RACER boat hardly moved, and that's even though we had fresh batteries in the battery compartment. No, I was left alone with the remote control and my nephews dashed off to the slide in the children's area of the pool.
It was hot in the sun and I really wanted to go for a swim. But I had a look at the water and I decided to stay on land drinking ice cold orange juice. Yes, orange juice, I brought one diet drink. This one drink was finished in a jiff so I had to drink orange juice. There were 3 foreigners in the pool hanging over the edge drinking beers.
Hey, it's a family day!
We spend a few hours before we left for my brother's house. I can't say that we were delirious with anticipation to test the second RACER boat.
But I plugged in the charger first thing when we arrived to his house. My youngest nephew was driving with the other boat in the fish pond and the turtle was busy escaping the boat.
According to the manual the battery needed to be charged for 4 hours. Way too long and I tried the boat after 30 minutes or so.
And the boat worked and this boat turned out to be a real racer. For 20 seconds, then we lost the steering and, well, what to expect? If I'm going to bring it back to Thailand and claim my money? Hardly.
I was getting hungry and we left the kids at home and I went to eat dinner with my brother and his wife. Subic Bay, no Tempura so we decided to go eat dinner at the Wild Orchid, yes, the very same hotel where I had originally planned to stay. And as soon as we entered the hotel I regretted that I had chosen, well, my brother had chosen Treasure Island hotel.
Wild Orchid, excellent food. I had ordered a “Fish and chips” and when they came with the food I asked for how many persons it was for. It was a huge plate and the plate was brimmed with food. Of course, I could not finish the food. We had coffee and tea before I walked back to my hotel.
My brother will wake me up at 7 o'clock tomorrow morning so we can go eat breakfast.
Sunday 7th of November 2010 and my brother called me at 7. Can't say that I was full of vim when he called even though I went to bed a little after 10 o'clock yesterday. OK, I watched a movie with J's favourite Steven Segal and I didn't felt a sleep until 1.
It was a beautiful morning and I went out on the balcony to get a picture over Subic Bay. I would meet my brother and his family at 8 thirty so I took it easy packing my stuff and at 8 thirty I went down to the pool for a cup of tea.
- What's your room number?
- I will check out so I can pay cash.
- YOU'RE NOT STAYING FOR THE POOL PARTY TODAY??!!
- No, I'm out of here.
Yeah, exactly what I wish for when it's party time, to sit with 4 60 years old sex tourists in flip-flops drinking the cheapest beer so they can stretch their stay a few days extra.
Quarter to 9 and still no sign off my brother so I returned to my room to call him. I had 4 missed calls on my phone.
- Where are you?
- We're at Wild Orchid having breakfast. The batteries to the boats are soon running flat.
What the , I thought we were going to meet at my hotel. I took the 2 minutes' walk to Wild Orchid and when I arrived my nephews were in the swimming pool.
My brother was going to Angeles to leave one of his cars there. He is leaving for his ship on Tuesday and they will change to a bigger engine while he is gone. I asked him why he needed to change the engine. “I need a bigger engine, I'm running the strip on 13 seconds and that's not good enough” He has installed nitro and stuff in the darn car. Way to go! We should all buy bigger engines and your children have no future on the globe.
So we decided that he would leave earlier to Angeles and I could take the bus to Manila from there. So we took off in 2 cars, me and my brother in the drag racing car and his wife in a Chevrolet so they could take this car back.
My brother's drag racing car, that's 5 litres / 10 km and the Chevrolet, another 2 litres per 10 km. But of course, when you floor it the darn thing takes off like a rocket. But I suggested that he should buy an Audi A6 or A8 instead.
- Audi is darn nice to drive!
Flying down the highway between Subic and Angeles and it was impossible to speak in the car.
We arrived to Wild Orchid hotel in Angeles quarter past 12 so we had time for lunch before the bus departed.
We went to the restaurant, but it was too hot so we moved to the AC section. Tea and salad was my order, it was weekend, but I still felt bad about my fish and chips yesterday. And the mango shake didn't do much to alleviate my agony.
We were sitting there eating when the bus arrived outside the hotel.
- Your bus is here.
- Well, we still have 10 minutes before departure.
- No, it looks like they are leaving now so you better get out there.
DARN! I had to take my school bag and computer and rush out from the restaurant and on the bus.
The bus was comfy and there was a video showing so it was not bad. I had to pay 600 peso for the ticket. I saved, well, maybe 2000 Peso and that is, well, pretty much nothing.
We stopped at a few hotels in Angeles to pick up some passengers going to Manila and we were soon on the highway bound for Manila. We made one stop on the way and I asked the driver to pause the movie while I went to buy a diet drink. It was a pretty good movie, SALT or something like that.
We arrived to Manila when the movie was finished, and of course, I discovered that it was the same movie I had seen the end of when I got on the bus in Angeles. But it was a very nice and comfortable trip and I can recommend it if you will go from Subic or Angeles to Manila.
I got off the bus at Del Pilar and I took the 5 minutes' walk to my hotel and I checked in again. And it was nice and cool in Manila comparing to Subic so it was quite a nice walk.
They were busy decorating the hotel for Christmas when I stepped in. It's only the beginning of November and they have already started with the Christmas. Where do they find the strength for this BS?
I got a new room and I stopped in the restaurant before I went up to my room. I needed some tea after my trip.
- Can I have a pot of tea, diet drink and a chopped onion.
- Yellow or red onion?
- Yellow please.
Yes, I will start my new diet from today. Yellow onion for breakfast instead of mango and I will soon look good.
When I had finished my tea I took a taxi to Mall of Asia to look for a pair of shoes. I took a taxi outside my hotel and we reached Mall of Asia after 5 to 10 minutes.
I found shoes and I was about to return to my hotel when I remembered that it was Sunday. WEEKEND!! So I decided to have my Sunday dinner at Tempura.
Sunday evening and there were millions of people at Mall of Asia. Christmas songs on full blast and Santa Clauses everywhere I looked and I was going crazy. What's the big deal with Christmas?
What if they gave all the money they spent on Christmas decorations for education for the poor children living on the sidewalks? Yes, Imagine all these children growing up with an education. Future tax payers instead of growing up to glue sniffing hoodlums, gangsters and prostitutes. Wouldn't that be the right Christmas spirit?
Monday 8th of November 2010 and they called me at 05:45. What the , I have asked for a 6 o'clock wake up call. But I was not surprised, they called me 10 minutes before 6 everyday last week as well.
10 minutes later they called again. OK, enough already. I went in to the shower and I was in the restaurant 30 minutes later. I gave them my breakfast tickets and I asked for a chopped onion.
I took a seat at a table waiting for my tea. They brought me the menu and asked what I wanted for breakfast.
- No thanks, just the onion.
The rest of the guest looked a wee bit puzzled when I mixed my “GOOD MORNING” Surprise® at the table. Yes, the Tuna Paella looks like cat food so of course they were wondering what the I was doing. Well, never mind, if I want to look good I cannot worry about what other people thinks about my breakfast.
And living at a hotel should be like staying home, at least that's what they are saying. I don't eat omelette, bacon & eggs and sausages for breakfast at home. I stick to my “TUNA & ONION SURPRISE” ® so this is what I'm going to do in Manila as well.
When I finished my “GOOD MORNING” Surprise® I went on the street with two cups of tea. A chat with the security guards before going to school. And when I took the picture of my 2 tea cups the security guards wanted to be on a picture. What a surprise!
- One picture as a souvenir, they suggested.
- No problem, I said and they were happy to be on the picture.
I stopped for a mango juice on the way to school and I meet one of my class mates from last week.
- YO! What course are you on?
He was on the advanced fire fighting course together with 2 other class mates from last week.
Our class was scheduled to start at 7 and when we had not started at 7 thirty I asked what we were waiting for.
- we have 2 more students and we will start when they arrive.
I got a wee bit upset, yes, in the way that only Aladdin can be.
- WHOA-WHOA!! I have been up since 5 forty-five and now we're going to wait for these people? I don't think so! We pay for this course and if they won't show up it's not our problem! Well, the whole class agreed, so we started our class.
We had a Doctor as a Lecturer and she was quite fun so time turned quick and it was soon time for lunch.
I returned to my hotel and I got a pot of tea and an onion delivered to my room. I enjoyed my lunch and I was back in time for class. Hmm, maybe 2 minutes' late. The afternoon passed quickly as well and it was time for our quiz before going back home for the day. I got 100%, but this was really a no brainer so I would have been disappointed with less.
I was back at my hotel in 3 minutes' and a few minutes later it knocked on my door and I had a pot of tea and an onion. I must go to Robinsons tonight again to repair my school bag.
I asked my class mates if they knew a place to repair leather. I was suggested Mr Quickie at Robinsons shopping mall.
- Maybe cheaper to buy a new bag, they said when they saw that my bag was almost falling apart.
Yes, my bag has been repaired many times by now and , well, this bag is at least 60 years old and I want to keep it until I die so I will see if they can repair my bag.
I'm in Manila so they are able to repair almost anything so I'm not worried about my bag. I'm more worried about having to pass Tempura.
But tonight I will just pass the restaurant without any stop for a snack.
I stopped at a barber shop on my way to Robinsons. Well, there is only one barber shop on the 250 metres to Robinsons. I asked for a machine cut, 0 mm.
- Sorry Sir, we don't have any machine.
They offered me a shave, but as I don't want to look like a ball I rejected the offer and I continued to Robinsons to look for Mr. Quickie.
I walked around looking for Mr. Quickie and I stopped at some shops looking for sneakers. No Mr. Quickie and I had to ask for directions a couple of times. I found Mr. Quickie on the 3rd floor and if I had expected my bag to be ready today I would have been disappointed.
- Tomorrow afternoon.
OK, I pick up the bag after school.
Disappointed with Mr. Quickie, but I was proud of myself when I passed Tempura at a safe distance. I went straight from Mr. Quickie to Robinsons Supermarket to buy some Tuna Paella.
Tuesday 9th of November 2010 and it is 21 years ago the Berlin wall came down. But more important, it's Björn's birthday. He is turning 140 something and he is getting a wee bit grumpy if we forget his birthday. Well, I can't understand why anyone wants to celebrate that they are getting older.
I was in the restaurant at 6 thirty and today they just asked if I wanted the onion to my room when I ordered my chopped onion for breakfast.
- No thank, I take my onion here with my tea and tuna.
We started school by, well, we had not been in class for long before they brought me a chair. They only have this plastic chairs that you see on cheap bars and they are not very comfy to sit on. So our Teacher asked for a chair for me. And of course, our Teacher went on about my shirt.
- You have very nice shirts, she said.
- Well, appearance is important.
I asked why they had the stupid rules about shorts. If they are so concerned about the school's reputation they should be more concerned to supply us with good books and study material.
She looked at my shoes and she told me that rubber shoes were actually not allowed either. All the others reacted, they were all wearing rubber shoes.
- No rubber shoes allowed, no shorts allowed, but I'm still the best looking guy at school, right? I asked our Teacher.
- Yes, especially your shirts, she said.
Well, we got started with the lessons and today we were going to practising to suture wounds. While our Teacher prepared the stuff we watched a movie about wounds.
When our Teacher was ready we were just waiting for the meat that we were going to use as our “INJURED” person that needs to be stitched up after a serious accident.
We had to inject local anaesthesia before we could start to stitch up our patient. Well, I learnt one thing: I'm not good in suturing and I will hopefully never have to experience anyone that needs to be stitched up.
And I also discovered that I might have to get glasses. I could not read the white board with my right eye. It was only a blur. Is it my age? Or is it something else? My right eye are a wee bit irritated so it might go over in a few days.
Well, anyway, I decided to go see an optician at Robinsons later on tonight.
When I came back to the hotel I ordered tea and onion to my room and my brother called while I was enjoying my tea. He was sitting with his family at a restaurant around the corner from my hotel. He is leaving for his ship tonight and he will fly to Los Angeles from Manila. Nonstop and change to Jamaica in Los Angeles and that's not a flight I envy.
I ordered a diet drink while my nephews had fruit shakes and they were served in glasses bigger than themselves. At least bigger than my youngest nephew.
When it was time for them to leave I took the walk to Mr. Quickie at Robinsons to see if my bag was ready. I had brought my left sneaker to see if they could repair the shoe for me. The sole is falling off and they will try to put a few stitches for me.
I have searched Manila for new sneakers and as we can see on the picture above I have only managed to find a red par. And red shoes, can't remember if it was the red or yellow shoes that was the thing to wear in Bangkok without being accused of wearing terror sneakers.
Red, is for sure not the flavour of the month in Bangkok, but if I wear red shoes does it mean that I stamp on the red or does it mean that I support the red? I don't know and in order to be political correct when I arrive to Bangkok I need my old shoes. And of course, I like my shoes and I'm running out of them.
I called my supplier in USA and this model is obviously out of stock and they will never get it again. So, what to do? Yes, try to repair my shoe. Well, anyway, my bag was beyond repair so they needed to change some leather and I can pick up the bag on Saturday. My shoe will be ready tomorrow afternoon and they will hopefully have managed to fix them.
Glasses, I was looking around for an optician looking for glasses. I went to 4 different opticians and at the last optician I got cold feet. So I decided to follow our Teacher “The Doctors” advice to see a Doctor about my eyes.
Maybe it was just because I was a wee bit tired I had blurred vision.
Well, tomorrow it's Wednesday and we have an upcoming weekend. Weekend in Manila means san Miguel Light and a good time. Hopefully they have forget me at The Fort and I will go check out the area on Friday and that means a hangover on Saturday.
So I stopped at MINI STOP on my way back to the hotel and I bought my “hangover kit”
Wednesday 10th of November 2010 and I woke up just to discover that I had over slept. I woke up at 6 thirty and I looked at my wrist watch and as I was newly awake I could not see if it was 6 thirty or 5 thirty. But it looked like 6 thirty, strange, no wake up call.
I took my shower and even though I had the quickest 4 cups of tea I ever had in my life I was 15 or 20 minutes late for school. I stepped in to the class room.
- Excuse me for being late, but they forgot to wake me up.
I handed the news paper to my Teacher and I took my seat. Yes, I bring the news paper they slide under my door every morning for my Teacher.
- You have a red shirt today! She said.
- So what?
- I dreamt about you last night and you had a red shirt!
Turned out that I had not missed anything in class even though I was 15 to 20 minutes' late.
- You missed the song, our Teacher said.
- What song?
- The birthday song, we were all singing this morning
- Well, sorry to have missed that.
- Now you have to sing! Alone!
Our birthday boy was treating us for lunch so we were going to have our lunch at school. Well, looks like I can't find the time to go to my hotel during the lunch break.
We started the day by checking the vital signs and 2 of my class mates were found with high blood pressure. I suggested that we should do an experiment to get some “HANDS ON” experience.
- Let him have 4 Aspirin and we check the pressure again after 2 hours.
Our Doctor got excited.
- YES, let's do it, she said before she dashed off trying to find some Aspirin. The guy with the blood pressure wasn't all that excited over the idea so I volunteered to eat 4 Aspirin tablets.
Our Teacher didn't find any Aspirin.
- Paracetamol is the thing people like to take on the Philippines, she said.
We had a break so I went to 7 Eleven to buy some Aspirin, but they didn't had any Aspirin. I walked around looking for Aspirin and everyone told me to go to Mercury drugstore 2 blocks away. But I have no time before class starts again.
We finished class and while we were waiting for the food to arrive I went to the drugstore to buy the Aspirin and I made a quick stop at my hotel for a can of tuna and a diet drink while I checked the stock market in Bangkok on internet. Well, this week has been a very slow one and I'm losing money by the day.
Still plus but who knows? Will I be the next guy opening a noodle stall on Sukhumvit? Or maybe I can drive a taxi.
We spent the afternoon practicing to give infusions and after the last break we had a look at the catheter. Yet another thing I hope I will never have to encounter. Yes, the MEDICAL CARE course is quite fun and time turns quick. We finished the day with a quiz and I was off to my hotel and my onion.
Back at my room I checked the stocks while waiting for my tea, onion and diet drink. Everything in the red so I wasn't in the best of moods when room service knocked on my door. Well, ups and downs, it can't continue to go up and up forever. Time to sell?
And I was checking today's pictures while drinking my tea. I took a picture of a fire hose in a box, to be used in case of fire. And I was surprised to find a padlock on the box. Especially at a place where they train people in ADVANCED safety courses. What if there is a fire? Is the guy with the key to the padlock around?
BREAK THE GLASS AT FIRE!! Yeah, and pull out the fire hose over the sharp edge. What a surprise when you turn on the water and the hose is ripped to pieces.
I was looking for glasses yesterday and when I was at Perez Optical at Robinsons. They told me that they had an eye Doctor at Manila Vision Correction Center on the 3rd floor right here at Robinsons.
- OK, I will check it out tomorrow.
So I went to Robinsons to see if I could find Manila Vision Correction Center and I stopped at Mr. Quickie to check if my shoe was ready. My shoe was ready and they had done a very good job stitching the sole to the shoe.
Actually, it was so good so I will bring back my other shoe so he can do the same thing and the shoes will be good for another few years. I still have a few pair at home and I will bring them to Mr. Quickie next time in Manila so they can put a few stitches on my shoes. Maybe I can have these shoes for the rest of my life. My school bag was not ready, they told me yesterday that it would be ready on Saturday.
Well, I asked for the guy doing the job behind the closed door and the girls looked puzzled. But they went to get him. When he came out I rubbed my thumb against my index finger, the internationally recognised sign for a TIP.
- When will my bag be ready for pick up?
- Come back tomorrow.
I went to Manila Vision Correction Center but they didn't have any Doctor there on Wednesday nights. Typical, but they suggested that I should go to the HEALTHWAVE on the first floor. And of course, when I came down to HEALTHWAVE the Ophthalmologist had left for the day.
I went to Perez Optical to tell them that there was no Oculist or Ophthalmologist. Yes, what's the difference between an Oculist and an Ophthalmologist? I don't know, since I discovered my deteriorating eye sight I have heard so many different words regarding glasses, Opticians and Doctors for eyes.
Well, anyway, I explained the problem and they were pointing at a girl. The very same girl as I talked with yesterday.
- She is a Doctor.
- What? She was not a Doctor when I was here yesterday!
- I'm an optometrist, she said.
- What can you do?
- I can check your eyes and I can give you lenses.
- OK, hook me up to the machine.
We went in to a room and she hooked me up to a machine where I looked at something. I never said a word to her of what I saw.
She was running around taking my pictures and suddenly she pushed a button and a printer printed out some figures on a paper.
- I just want to confirm my findings. So please take a seat in this chair.
- What findings? How can this machine know what I have seen in the machine?
We tested different lenses and she told me that I was near-sighted 0,75. What does it mean? That I'm getting old? And I was pestering the guys back home for getting old when I saw them with glasses for the first time. Well, what do they say? What goes around comes around.
OK, now we know what lenses I need, now it was the problem to find me a pair of frames. Decisions to make and I tried 100 different frames.
- OOHH!! VERY NICE!! The girls said.
After a while I told them that they said that about every frame I tried. Finally I found a pair of frames that felt comfortable to wear and they told me that I could pick up the glasses tomorrow afternoon.
I left for the ATM and I withdraw 70,000 Scooby Dollars. And of course, only small bills so I had bills sticking out from every pocket when I walked back to my hotel.
I had kids running after me screaming.
- PAPA PAPA!! I'M VERY HUNGRY!
When I came back to my hotel I went to get to my safety box. The girl that opened the box told me that I was always looking so good. Yes, it's the truth.
- Yes, you always have nice shirts and baseball caps! You are so colourful and I wish my boyfriend could wear some COOL stuff.
- How old are your boyfriend?
- And how old are you?
I suggested that she should try to look for someone a wee bit younger. She had not seen her boyfriend for a year because he was in Singapore.
- That's how my love life is like, she told me.
OK, now I had more information than I cared for so I dashed off to my room.
Thursday 11th of November 2010 and they remembered to wake me up today, 10 minutes before 6 and I was in the restaurant eating onion and tuna together with my tea at 6 thirty.
We had to wait for 20 minutes' before our Teacher arrived.
- HEY! We were delirious by anticipation at 7 , but now the spirit is gone, I said.
I have been in school for 3 days now and I have not taking one single note during classes. Well, I have made good on our quizzes. But I have not been able to see the white board. OK, I have seen the white board but not what our Teacher had been written. I have spent the time in the back half asleep due to tiredness.
Same in Bangkok, my Teacher is scolding me for sleeping in class. But now we know the reason, I'm near-sighted and today I moved forward so I was sitting next to our Teacher.
No problem to see and I were not getting tired during class. So I will kick arses tomorrow when I'm wearing my new glasses. I will pick up my glasses later on today and I'm looking forward to try them on.
Must be something wrong when I'm falling asleep as soon as I sit down in any class room even though I have had 8 hours of sleep. My Teacher suggested that it could be due to me being near-sighted.
I dashed off to my hotel when we took our lunch break. Well, I came out of the elevator just to discover that it was pouring down outside. I had to wait for 10 minutes, before I could leave for my hotel. And of course, I was soaking wet when I arrived to my hotel.
I returned to school when I finished my “TUNA & ONION SURPRISE” ® and the afternoon passed by quite quickly.
We will go to the emergency room at Ospital Ng Maynila tomorrow morning and that is nothing I'm looking forward to.
Going home from school and I made a stop at the ATM before I returned back to my hotel room. I withdraw 30,000 today and I will withdraw the rest of the course fee for the DP course next week. Tomorrow it's the start of the weekend and I will have other things to think off.
Back on my room I had my “TUNA & ONION SURPRISE” ® and tea before I moved over to my school book in my bed. I'm better off preparing myself for the exam tomorrow afternoon.
At 6 o'clock I left to PEREZ OPTICAL at Robinsons to pick up my new glasses. WOW! It was like a new world out there when looking through my new glasses. Everything became so sharp and when I took of the glasses it was all slightly blurred. What a difference! I wonder for how long I have had looked at a blurred world. OK, so let's see if I still have my glasses on Monday, I tend to lose things over weekends.
I got my glasses and I went to pick up my school bag at Mr. Quickie. I left my other shoe for a few stitches and I went back to the ground floor to buy an electrical toothbrush and 2 bags of tuna.
I have decided to crank up my diet a notch or two so I skipped the Tuna Paella and I bought tuna flakes in brine. So I needed a can opener and a small bottle of olive oil.
Friday 12th of November 2010 and we will start our day at the emergency room at Ospital ng Maniyla. We meet at school 7 o'clock for transportation to the hospital.
It was a 5 minutes ride to hospital, but of course, first a picture of our Doctor and my class mates. We arrived to the emergency room at Ospital ng Maynila and I felt sick, instantly. Yes, I'm in the area of a hospital and I feel bad. And for sure, entering the emergency room didn't make me feel any better.
And the Doctors and Nurses looked strangely at me when I was walking backwards. Yes, I don't want to risk running in to any ghastliness, especially now when I have SUPER sight with my new glasses.
We stopped inside the door and our Teacher told us that this was the medicine ward. Good, should not be any ghastliness around here I thought and turned around. I made a quick scan of the area and I could not discover anything nasty so I relaxed a bit. But I was still feeling uncomfortable about being here.
I was standing there relaxing more and more when suddenly the shit hit the fan.
- Let's continue to the trauma ward, our Teacher said.
- Oh, no, I thought.
I was walking carefully towards the trauma ward while my class mates dashed off like they had fire in their pants. I approached the area carefully and there were only two old ladies in the trauma ward. It took me quite some time to scan the ward. Look in to the wall, moving my eyes (By now I had my glasses in my pocket) slowly down to the floor and sideways.
10 minutes' later I had checked out the whole trauma (physical injury) ward in this manner and I was relieved. No blood or any injuries.
When we were at the trauma ward our Teacher, the Doctor talked with the 2 patients and we, OK, I was present and honestly. These tow old ladies were mostly looking at me. Of course, not every day there is a Swede hanging over them looking stupid. So I guess they forgot the pain for a while and at least I was a wee bit useful.
We were waiting for some action, who knows? Suddenly there can be an ambulance showing up with injured people.
There was a boy coming with his mom and sister. He had done something with his toe. Standard procedure, check for antibiotic allergy by a standard skin test. X-ray before suturing. I was watching, no problem.
At least not until they should stitch the boy, then I went to buy a diet drink.
I enjoyed my diet drink outside the hospital and as I was wearing my ID tag with MEDICAL CARE. So people treated me like I was a Doctor, and that's a Doctor with a nice shirt.
Well, it was our last day and our Teacher told me that it was strange that they allowed me to wear shorts in school. She told me that they had had another foreigner at the school. He was not allowed to attend with shorts. But she had asked the girls at the office about my shorts.
- OH! NO PROBLEM! HE LOOKS SO GOOD!
And our Teacher told me that I was nicely dressed, actually I was wearing the nicest cloths so never mind the shorts.
Of course, it would have been another story if I had attended class in flip-flops, t-shirt and some old shorts. Yes, like a Pattaya beach boy, or maybe it's more appropriate to say a Subic Bay beach boy when we're in the Philippines.
- Hmm, maybe it would be OK if you attended a beach guard training course.
Back at the trauma ward and they had finished the stitching of the toe so there was no more blood to be seen.
The care was for free, any one can come to the hospital to receive care for free. You have to pay for the medicine yourself but Doctors and nurses are for free. So the boy's mother had to go buy a suture set and the antibiotic. But the syringe was provided by the hospital.
I asked our Teacher what was happening if there was patients that didn't had any money.
- Then the hospital will provide you with the medicine. But at first they want the patients to pay their own medicine.
There was a drug store outside the emergency room where they could buy everything needed. But I was impressed, free medical care and how many countries can provide that to their citizens. It was a nice hospital, of course, not like Bumrungrad Hospital in Bangkok. But believe me, if you don't have any money they will kick you right back out on the street.
Of course, they have private hospitals in Manila as well. And it's the same story, if you don't have any money they don't care if you die.
Of course, as long as you do it outside the hospital.
Well, it was soon time for us to return to school and the lunch break. And I was back to eating the original “TUNA & ONION SURPRISE” ®. Ok, it was not as good as the Tuna Paella so I mixed some Tuna Paella in the original “TUNA & ONION SURPRISE” ® and I think I'm on to something here. It was very good.
The rest of the class was eating pizza and they were disappointed when I didn't join them. But I'm not in to this TAKE AWAY food and one of the perks by looking like me is that I can always say the “I'm on diet”
Luckily enough, both for my diet and my economy. Back at the room I discovered that the SET was in free fall for the third day so I sold my stocks. Last week's profit was gone. Never mind, I hope they stocks continues to fall and I can buy back the same stocks cheaper. Never mind now when I have the cash instead of the stocks.
Of course, it would have been another story if I would have kept on the stocks.
We finished our course in the afternoon and I got my certificate. I meet my class mates outside school and we went for an AFTER SCHOOL beer. My first San Miguel Light since I landed in Manila last week.
We walked the 100 meters to the Manila Bay Cafe. One of my class mates had been talking about this place the whole week so we went to check it out. I packed my glasses in the box (Including in the price) and put them in my school bag.
Would be nice to lose them after the first beer.
I had been there before, yes, we remember my pizza (1 kg of melted cheese dumped in front of me) I had for lunch first day at school the first week.
It was one of the best pizzas I ever had and thanks to this pizza I decided to start with the tuna for breakfast, lunch and dinner and I have managed to stick to the “TUNA & ONION SURPRISE” ®. Well, the Tuna Paella diet.
OK, I have been at Tempura a few times, but apart from that: Strictly tuna diet.
And our Teacher told me that I looked smaller. And it was a spontaneous observation. It was not like I forced her to see the difference.
- DO YOU SEE THE DIFFERENCE?
OK, I might have push her a wee bit.
We enjoyed our beers and well, Manila Bay Cafe is a place where you have a lot of 60 years old males and 25 years old girls so you know what kind of place it was. Drinking beer and I had to go to the comfort room and I overheard a conversation. It was a guy talking to one of the employees.
- Is this a good girl?
- Yes, she is good.
- Can I trust this girl?
- Yes, she has worked her for a long time.
I was laughing so I pissed all over the stall and my pants. When I left I was just about to say STUPID MOTHERF@CKER but I didn't. OK, this was not our kind of place.
As I said to my class mates.
- We're good looking so let's leave this place for the 60 years old.
By now my glasses were back on, I'm better off seeing who I talking to. I made one stop more on my way back to my hotel to leave my school bag. I had decided to keep my glasses on, worst case scenario: I have to buy a new pair on Monday.
And hello Charisma Man, long time no see. Yes, it was nice to have Charisma Man back. I asked if they (luckily enough I had a CD in my school bag) could play some good music.
- Ah, you know, we have a program running here.
It was some old songs they were playing. I guess it was from the period when the rest of the customers were young and handsome. A lot of bald guys with glasses hanging around so you can understand my trauma when I recognized the songs from when I was young. And the trauma wasn't alleviated by realizing that I was bald and wearing glasses.
It was like when I and J came in to the disco in Copenhagen and they were only playing 80's music. It was like travelling back in time. But here it was more like 70's music. It was good, but I told the bartender to kick me out of there after the second beer.
I gave him 100 Peso and I told him that he could keep it if he refused to sell any more beer to me after my second beer. I need to get my school bag to my hotel room before I lose it.
At the Fort I went to the same restaurant I was at the last time. I dared to go because of my glasses, no one will recognize me with my glasses. Good music this time, because of me? I don't know, but we remember last time at the place. No music so I and the designer took charge over the DJ equipments.
- One San Miguel Light please!
- Normal or SUB ZERO!
- SUB ZERO! Now I'm going to lose weight like there is no tomorrow.
Well, what a disappointment, sub zero meant that they had stored the beer in the freezer and I decided not to order any sub zero beers again. But the music was a pleasant surprise.
I was too early, almost no people around so I decided to go back to Melate. But I stopped at a Japanese restaurant before going back.
Hot sake Manila style with salmon sushi and San Miguel light, can it be better? Yes, I have found myself disappointed every time entering a Japanese restaurant when Miss “Most beautiful in the world #1” is not around.
Maybe time to move back to Sweden? Nah, I don't think so. Hmm, well, maybe after losing 200 kg. I will be eye poppin' handsome. And the glasses on top of that. DARN!
I had three plates of salmon sushi with plenty sesame seeds before I left looking for a taxi. First stop Nirvana and by now there were people coming to the discos.
I had a few San Miguel Light at Nirvana before I continued. And of course, I had a CD with mixed music in my pocket, always good to have music in a taxi. You never know when you end up in a traffic jam and I think we all remember last time I was in Manila. I was on my way to the Fort and the traffic came to a full stop and I was stuck in a taxi with a driver playing Rod Stewart's greatest hits. What hits?
J and Björn, this one is for you. Just hit the play button and enjoy. It might sound incredible. But every single taxi driver asked if they could get my CD. Yes, no need to ask them to crank up the music, it was on full blast.
At Nirvana I got a bucket of ice with my San Miguel Light, but San Miguel Light and Tiger Light are the only two beers tasting good. well, I want to call them the best beers in the world. So no ice is needed.
My next stop was at Paddy's Point. Well, I didn't know that it was Paddy's Point until I got out of the taxi. OK, my memory might be a wee bit blurred so I might have asked the driver to take me to Paddy's Point.
And why do I remember the name Paddy's point? Well, after two weeks in school my class mates had been talking about nothing but Paddy's point. especially the older class mates so I thought this was a place for me. I don't want to run in to any awkward situations like when I was at the lesbian meeting last spring.
- LADYS ONLY!
I turned around and was about to leave when they asked if I was alone.
- Then you can come in.
I was sitting at a table drinking beer with the table next to me full of girls. They invited me over and I told them that they had to wait until I had had a few more beers. 4 beers later and I moved over to their table.
We had a great time and, well, I thought that they were lesbians. But it was strange that they were flirting with me so I asked if they were lesbians.
- No, we're here to celebrate our friend's birthday
- How old is she? I asked
- MOTHERF@CKER, TIME IS RUNNING! I HAVE TO BE SOME PLACE, I said and left.
Yeah, how stupid would that look? Me with a bunch of 18 years old. Well, Paddy's Point and I didn't expected any 18 years old.
Hmm, maybe my OLDER class mates likes 18 years old? Hopefully not! I entered the place and it was crowded.
I got seated at a table with maybe 10 people drinking beer and I ordered 2 bottles of San Miguel Light first thing. It was a nice place and we were sitting next to the bar so fresh beer was never far away.
I was drinking my San Miguel Light from the bottle. I asked for a tower or whatever they call it. But no tower of San Miguel Light. Well, drinking from the bottle is better. drinking from a wine glass and the beer taste better, but drinking from a bottle is OK.
It was 4 or 5 in the morning when they asked me for a dance.
- FAT CHANCE!
When going to the comfort room you had to pass the dance floor and they stopped me every time. Well, Uncle is getting old so I passed the dance floor and in order to avoid future DANCE REQUESTS I returned to my hotel.
Yeah, we can imagine how stupid it would look with 500 kg of Aladdin jumping up and down on the dance floor. And its Saturday tomorrow and I need some energy tomorrow night. Or more correctly to say at 4 or 5 o'clock in the morning, tonight.
Saturday 13th of November 2010 and I didn't get out of bed until it was almost 3 o'clock. I discovered that, well, I discovered several things:
• I had a terrible hangover.
• All the lights in my room were on.
• I woke up on top of the bedspread
• I was happy that I had my fridge full of hangover milk.
Well, time for me to leave my room for a night on town. And yes, I will wear my glasses and today I won't bother being polite. Back to the normal blunt Aladdin:
“Just because I look good in the glasses doesn't automatically means that you will look good in my glasses” and I hope I can have my baseball cap and glasses for myself tonight.
I will start at Cowboy grill around the corner and after that? Who the knows?
Just before I was about to leave I got an e-mail from my Teacher in Bangkok. She was, well, I don't know if surprised is the word I'm looking for here. But she thinks that my only way of passing time is to drink and when I told her that I was best in class. At least when it came to our exam. I finished the exam in 20 minutes or less and I had the highest score in class. My class mates were spending hours.
Oh! Aladdin, you are intelligent. I knew that all the time.
Yes, that is what she wrote. And as you can imagine I was proud, I'm intelligent. I was both
happy and proud, for about 3 seconds. Then it hit me, just like I told my Teacher at the medical school.
- Hey, I'm not more intelligent than the other students.
I'm just older and I have gained some experience. I would swap my experience for their youth at any time, without any hesitations.
- Hmm, intelligent? I can't wait to show her my new glasses.
Yes, Thailand, I will soon be back home. And as I didn't knew if Mr. Quickie would be able to repair my shoes I had to buy new ones. A pair of red and a pair of pink shoes. Yes, I asked for 3 pairs of each colour. But size 12 in the Philippines and, yeah, I think you understand. No one is keeping a stock of anything in the size of 12 so I took what they had, one pair of each.
So I had decided to save my pink shoes for my return journey. Well, as this has turned out unnecessarily I can wear my pink shoes tonight and I can wear my newly repaired shoes on my return flight.
I took the 1 minute walk to Cowboy Grill and I ordered a San Miguel light. The band playing was not very good so I paid my bill and I had planned to leave after the first beer. I enjoyed my beer when the next band got up on stage.
Now they were kickin' arses on the stage so I ordered one more beer. I asked the girl selling cigarettes if she had one coffin nail. She only sold them by the package so I decided to go out on the street to buy one coffin nail. Of course, when I took a picture of the girl selling the cig all the others wanted to be on a picture as well.
The music was getting better and better the more beer I had so I ordered a third beer. My last beer at Cowboy Grill and I will continue to Mall of Asia.
I'll be darned, I was soon ordering my fourth beer and this was my last beer before leaving. There were sitting 3 guys on the table next to mine and it turned out to be 3 Thai sailors. Mess Man, Chief Engineer and the Cook.
It didn't take long before we ordered Tequila and for sure, nothing good had ever come out from drinking Tequila. A nice evening don't get any better by drinking 4 or 5 Tequila. We were soon drunk and the Thai Mess man wanted to try my snus. I don't know, by then we were pretty drunk and it looked like he was eating the snus.
They asked me how I liked Manila and I said it was OK. I asked them how they liked Manila.
- Very good!
They told me that the girls had NOM YAI and they liked it.
Yes, it was almost 2 o'clock when I got out from Cowboy Grill. I stopped a taxi and we got down to Roxas to check out a few bars, but it was not very fun. And I was tired, we had several Tequilas at Cowboy Grill and, yes, I went back to my hotel room for some sleep. 2 o'clock in the morning and several Tequilas, I'm way too old for this.
Sunday 14th of November 2010 and I have felt better. Sunday, what a pointless day. Nothing to do, would be better to skip the whole day so we could move straight on to Monday and school. And most of the Sundays are wasted with a hangover. And today it was, well, not very nice to wake up. I spent the day in bed. Room service and I got my onion and tea to my room.
I went to Robinsons at 4 o'clock to pick up my shoe and to scan my certificate from my last course. I passed a Teriyaki Boy restaurant between Mr. Quickie and the scan shop. So I stopped for some salmon sushi and a teriyaki chicken.
Well, the salmon sushi were OK but the teriyaki chicken was nothing I will order again. I finished my meal and I went in to the scan shop next door.
I had had my dinner at Teriyaki Boy but I decided to stop at Tempura for some good teriyaki. A mango/ banana shake on top of that and I was ready to go back to my room.
I stopped for 2 diet drinks at MINI STOP and it will be a very early night tonight so I can go up early for my school tomorrow. When I sat down at Teriyaki Boy the waitress told me that I looked very tired. And I was very tired.
Monday 15th of November 2010 and I could sleep until 7 o'clock today. School starts at 8 thirty instead of 7, but I have a 30 minutes' taxi ride to school now when I'm at Norwegian Training Centre. I went down to the restaurant at 7 thirty and the restaurant was full so I had to go to the other restaurant.
I ordered my bowl of onion and obviously I have made a name for myself with my onions.
- Oh, you're the onion man!
I finished my breakfast and I was off to Norwegian Training Centre and it didn't take me that long to get there. Everyone complains about the traffic here in Manila.
- Traffic jam??!! This is like cruising down the highway comparing to the traffic in Bangkok.
Coming to school and all the Teachers and staff recognised me when I arrived.
- You're back!
- Yes, and looking good in my new glasses.
Even the cleaners and the food delivery people recognized me. And it was nice to get rid of all the money, I have to pay in cash, not as at the Consolidated where I could pay with cards. So it was nice to get rid of all my money, my pockets were bulging with 500 Peso notes.
I like Norwegian Training Centre, but the only disadvantage is the location. When I was at Roxas it was a 2 minutes' walk back to my hotel and my “TUNA & ONION SURPRISE” ®. At Norwegian Training Centre I have to order this fast food, or I can take a taxi to Makati.
So I took a taxi to Makati to see if Tempura was open at Burgus Street. The very first Tempura restaurant I went to a few years back, but they were closed so I crossed the street to NEXT DOOR noodles.
And right there and then I decided to bring tuna to school instead of going to Makati. I can finish my tuna in 3 minutes and I can spend the rest of the lunch break study. School was fun and I was not tired even though I was sitting in the back row. Must be my glasses, I haven't been tired since I bought them.
Hmm, OK, I was a wee bit tired yesterday, but that had nothing to do with my glasses.
Yes, I'm too old for these weekend all night long extravaganzas. And it looks like I will have to spend the next weekend here as well. I'm looking forward to it, can't say that I'm in a hurry back to Bangkok. I decided to stay for yet another course next week and I can go back home next Thursday or Friday. My VISA expires the 22nd of November, but I don't think it will be any problem to stay until 25 or 26th of November.
We are 3 guys in my class, 1 Norwegian Captain on cruise ships that have decided to go offshore and we have one Filipino Captain already working on supply vessels. Good to have him in class, I can always ask him and I have already learnt a lot from him even though it's our first day only. We were supposed to be 4 students, but 1 never showed up so we're just 3. Good, more time for us to learn.
When we finished school I took a taxi to Roxas Boulevard and Consolidated. I booked my course starting on Monday.
The course last for 3 days and the school is in Cavite a few hours from Manila with car. They will come to pick me up at my hotel Monday morning at 5 o'clock. Wake up call 4 o'clock Monday morning and this is of course nothing I'm looking forward to. But I can as well take this course when I'm in Manila. I will be back in Manila Wednesday night and I can go back home on Thursday night. Hmm, or maybe I can spend Thursday in Manila relaxing and go back home on Friday.
Back at the hotel and I ordered tea and onion to my room and when I had finished my dinner I went to buy more tuna at Robinsons.
But first I went to the ATM to get some cash so I could pay the remaining 15000 Peso for my DP course at Norwegian Training Centre. And on my way to the ATM I was running in to the annoying people I run in to every day here at Mabini Street.
- Where are you going?
And even if I ignore them they continue to go on and on:
- Do you want to change money?
- A nice bar
- Nice girls
- Do you want to buy souvenirs?
- Ganja? I have very good ganja!
- WHAT THE F@CK MAKES YOU THINK THAT I'M INTERESTED TO BUY ANYTHING FROM YOU? AND WHAT MAKES YOU BELEIVE THAT I WANT TO GO TO A BAR THAT YOU FIND NICE? AND WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT I WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU?
I passed Tempura at Robinsons, but there were guests sitting at my table so I just passed. Maybe I will indulge on a can of tuna and a diet drink in my room tonight.
Tuesday 16th of November 2010 and I received my wakeup call 10 minutes before 7. A shower and I was in the restaurant at 7 thirty. I got 2 cups of tea that I enjoyed while waiting for my chopped onion.
I was on the street a few minutes before 7 and I arrived to Norwegian Training Centre 15 to 20 minutes later. And today I have a can of Tuna Paella in my school bag so no need to leave school during the lunch break.
I borrowed a computer in the Teachers lounge and it was not a very nice experience to check the stock market. Seems like everything I touch turns to a shit stock.
Well, hopefully it will soon go the other way.
We spent the time before lunch in our class room and after lunch it was time to start up the DP simulator. Today's drill was to approach an oil rig's 500 meters limit at Statfjord oil field.
When we were at 500 meters from the oil rig we had to turn on the DP and move in to a distance of 15 meters from the oil rig using the DP.
50 Meters from the rig we dropped a LIVE TAUT WIRE and we moved in to the rig 5 meters at the time so we could launch a diving operation at the oil rig. And it doesn't take much to realise what it requires to stay 15 meters from an oil rig with a big diving vessel.
When we finished class I left with my class mate. As he is living in Manila I asked if he knew a good place to buy sneakers. He was thinking for a few seconds before he answered.
- We can try Market! Market! after class. I live just close by.
Market! Market! Is a big shopping mall in Fort Bonifacio, Taguig. So it's very close to school and we drove there in about 5 minutes. 5 minutes ride and 15 minutes to get a parking place.
It was holiday and Market! Market! was crowded. My friend told me that it was the day they got their salary so all the people were out spending money.
- Well, it will be crowded on the pubs and discos the upcoming weekend, I suggested.
I was hungry and as I could not go back to my room I asked my friend if he was hungry. He was waiting for his wife so they could buy groceries before going home.
So while we were waiting for her we went around in all the shops looking for sneakers. We found one pair of sneakers, size 12, in the colour I liked. I tried them on and they were too small.
- What the is this?
The other day I tried a pair of 11 and they were too big. Seems like different brands have different sizes.
I was very hungry and my friend told me that there was a Teriyaki Boy restaurant when I asked for a place with sushi. Yes, even though I'm on town I'm thinking about my diet. And salmon, seaweed and sesame seeds can't be bad for the diet.
YIPPEE!! His wife was earlier than expected and we took right off to Teriyaki Boy. I ordered 2 plates of salmon sushi and I'll be darned. It was so good so I ordered a third plate.
We were having our dinner and we were talking about offshore vessels and as my friend work as Captain on an offshore vessel I learned a lot. Actually, he should charge me for all the information.
He told me about supply, anchor handling and guarding. He told me about when they moved a barge in Saudi Arabia. 80 NM just by moving the anchors and it took them 3 weeks with the help from another ship. One ship on each side of the barge and they moved it 2 to 300 meters with every shift of the 8 anchors. Interesting and I have got a pretty good idea on how things are working on their ship.
We finished our dinner and we left for the supermarket to buy groceries. I needed a can of tuna so I joined them, but there were so much people so we skipped the supermarket.
Coming back to my hotel room was not a nice experience, before my tea and onion arrived I discovered that I had lost almost 2000 US on the Thai stock market, in just a few days.
Wednesday 17th of November 2010 and left my hotel just before 8 o'clock. I stopped a few taxis before I got lucky.
- Tesda in Taguig?
- No problem!
We took off and it looked good, cruising down ROXAS and I told him to take off towards Mall of Asia and make a U-turn and go back to EDSA.
- Yes yes, I know.
Good, I relaxed in the backseat when I discovered that we were passing the Jollibee I use to pass when going to Makati. We had to make a U-turn and we were soon in Pasay. By now I was pretty irritated. My driver didn't have a clue where he was.
- TESDA!! IT'S VERY FAMOUS IN MANILA!
He didn't spoke very much English and when I changed taxi in Pasay I was so irritated I threw myself in to a shop and I bought a coffin nail. I was a wee bit relaxed after a few drags.
Luckily enough I didn't had to wait for long before a taxi stopped. I arrived 40 minutes' late to Norwegian Training Centre. My Norwegian class mate was outside smoking when I came to school.
- No class?
- We're waiting for you.
We started class 10 minutes after 9 o'clock and it was soon time for a break.
- Please! No break, let's kick arse instead!
- Maybe we need a cancer stick before we continue, our Teacher suggested.
- Oh no! I gave up smoking yesterday, I said.
- OK, I can have one, the taxi driver destroyed my attempt to give up smoking this very morning.
Things are starting to come to place. I changed my ticket to the 25th and the girl at the administration took care of my VISA overstay. I gave her my passport and I will give her 4150 Peso tomorrow. So they will take care of my visa extension and I will pick up my visa and passport the 25th of November.
The afternoon was spent in the simulator and today we were following a ROV along a pipe line on the sea bed. When we finished class at 4 o'clock I took off to ROXAS Boulevard to pay my course for next week. 32,000 Peso and my VISA were not accepted.
- Where is the ATM? I asked.
- On the ground floor.
I went down to get the cash and when I returned the first thing I told them was of course that they had to check up their VISA machine.
As soon as I finished my “TUNA & ONION SURPRISE” ® (Today with the added excitement Tuna Paella) and tea I went for a shower and I was off to Robinsons. I decided to continue down Mabini Street to explore the Malate area instead of turning left to Robinsons.
I passed a newly built house with a beer garden surrounded by bars and restaurants. So I decided to check it out on Friday evening. It was nice to walk around, I passed a small alley and I looked inside. I discovered a few paintings and I decided to enter the alley. Turned out that there were several art shops and I stopped to look at some paintings. I only discovered one painting that I could think of buying.
Nice at Norwegian Training Centre, one hour of extra sleep in the morning and my black eyes from the 2 first weeks are gone. I had black eyes the 2 first weeks in Manila due to lack of sleep. Yes, it was a killer to get up at 6 o'clock every morning.
It was nice to be walking around, of course, if it had not been for the beggars and the people touting along the road. I was hungry when I came to Robinsons, but I passed Tempura without any stop and I managed to pass Teriyaki Boy on the third floor without stop for salmon sushi. OK, honestly, it was because there were too much people at the restaurant.
Well, we have an upcoming weekend so I could as well buy my “HANGOVER PACK”® preparing myself for the weekend.
I bought a few cans of Tuna Paella but when I came back to the hotel I realized that I had forgot to buy AXE. Darn! Well, I can buy a can tomorrow. I think I can survive another day without the AXE EFFECT.
But reading the info on my hangover milk was a pleasant surprise. The milk is obviously very good for ”THOSE“ of us that wishes to control our weight.
And just in case the “CHOCOHOLICS” drinks too much of the delicious choco milk Nestle gives a pointer on how to lose weight.
So I'm pretty much set up for my last weekend in Manila. Well, last weekend as it looks now. I think they will give me one month extension on my VISA so not necessary to go home on Thursday. They told me at Thai Airways that I should change my ticket before Thursday if I needed to change my ticket again. Of course, I'm running low on snus after almost one month in Manila so I can't extend my stay more than a few days.
Hmm, maybe I'm better off getting back home. Too much people around here recognise me by now so it can be a good idea to stay away for a while. Just to give them a chance to forget me.
Thursday 18th of November 2010 and I was at school 10 past 8. I left my hotel quarter to 8, a little earlier than planned due to delays in the onion department. No sign of my onion after 15 minutes so I just had a can of tuna and tea.
Coming to school and I sat up my lunch on my desk before class started. We spent the time to lunch in the class room and we spent the afternoon in the simulator.
Today we were laying a cable in Brevik, Norway. And the precision is amazing. Even though we had a strong current we were able to lay down our cable with in a few meters margin of error.
When we finished class I took a taxi back to my hotel on Mabini Street. Tomorrow is the last day at Norwegian Training Centre and I'm looking forward to the weekend when I can relax for 2 days before going to Cavite and my last course.
I finished my tea and “TUNA & ONION SURPRISE” ® on my room before I left for Robinsons to buy my AXE deo.
I stopped at Teriyaki Boy for a salmon sushi before I went down to Robinsons Supermarket on the ground floor. It didn't take me long to find the AXE deo. And then I decided to break the law.
I was not in a very good mood. Before I left for Robinsons I tried to connect to my internet. I could not find the paper with the password and user name. Well, I went down to the reception to ask for my password as I had paid for one month.
They could not give me a new pass word and they asked where my pass word was.
- I had the paper on my desk this morning and now it's gone.
- What happened?
I don't know, but I suggested that there was a possibility that they accidentally dropped it on the floor when they had cleaned my room this morning. The girl called HOUSE KEEPING and it was for a few minutes. Then she turned to me.
- They didn't attend to your room this morning.
- Who the made my bed and cleaned my room this morning?
Well, never mind. So at Robinsons I decided to refill my mini bar with stuff from Robinsons. Yes, last Saturday I woke up with a “SLIGHT” hangover so I emptied my fridge from all the mango and orange juice. I also had a few beers from the mini bar last Saturday, almost a week ago and they have still not refilled my fridge. Well, I have used the room service giving them time to refill the mini bar whenever they have wanted to.
They need to make money as well so I don't mind paying a few Pesos extra for the mini bar. But after the “INTERNET” incident I decided to refill the fridge myself.
And it's not like they haven't had the chance to refill it, almost one week and I would have expected them to refill the fridge several days ago. OK, never mind, I bought my stuff at Robinsons and I returned to my hotel and I bought a new internet card.
Friday 19th of November 2010 and I was in the restaurant 10 minutes earlier today so I would have a chance to get my onion with my tuna. Of course, today it took them 2 seconds to deliver my onion. No traffic when we cruised towards Norwegian Training Centre so I was in school 10 past 8.
Well, we were all arriving early so we could start class at eight 25. We had the last chapter to do and then it was time for the exam.
We had to answer 15 questions and when we were ready we should do the last simulation exercise. And today we had to manoeuvre a shuttle tanker to an installation. We had to use the DP from 900 meters to our final loading position 90 meters behind Narve, at least I think the name was Narve.
It was interesting and we have tried many of the different DP operations during the week at Norwegian Training Centre. But, well, as one Teacher told me today: “DP is so boring and tedious so many people goes back to the tankers again”
Yes, I agree, sitting and watch a computer screen is not all that fun. And it's not like there is very much happening on the screen. A dot moving over the screen and alarms going off when something is wrong. So there is not very much happening, well, of course unless something goes wrong. Then you need to know what you're doing or the shit can hit the fan.
When we finished I went to get my certificate and DP log book and I was off to Robinson to scan the certificate before going to my hotel for tea and a “TUNA & ONION SURPRISE” ® on my room.
Friday again, my last Friday in Manila? Will I spend Friday night in my room or on town? A lot of questions, but the last question is a no brainer. I will obviously not spend Friday night in my room. I have just finished a course so I guess I deserve a few beers.
I will go check out the place across from Robinsons and if it's no fun I might continue down to Mall of Asia to see if they still have the Friday night firework display.
And how long before Charisma Man will be around again. I guess it will just take a few beers before he will be around. But more interesting is, will the Obnoxious Man show up? Wise from last Saturday's adventure with the Thai sailors and I will avoid the Tequila.
It doesn't taste good and you're hammered in less than a minute or two and have to go home for a sleep. San Miguel Light tastes good and you're upright all night long.
Staggering is the worst thing that will happen when drinking San Miguel Light. But a good time is guaranteed. Hmm, if it wasn't for my Thai Teacher, she is always scolding me when I have had a few beers on a Friday night. But I guess I have to take the bad with the good.
Why do you think I'm in Manila? It's a good hideout! But it starts to feel like I need to go home, at least to check out my potted plants. Or what's left of my potted plants.
I walked down to the place at Jorge Bocobo Street a few minutes away. I had two San Miguel Light at the first place before I changed to a Greek Bar & Restaurant 3 or 4 bars further in on the plaza.
The plaza was full of people drinking beer and they were preparing the stage for a live band. I ordered a San Miguel Light.
- What the
The beer was not cold so I asked for a glass and an ice cube. First time I drink San Miguel Light with ice. Well, it was OK. Behind the bar was the owner, a guy from New York but he had lived in Manila for 10 years.
He had opened a Greek restaurant because he was a Greek American and he wanted me to try OSO or whatever it was. It was some Greek liquor.
- No thanks', I don't drink booze!
Well, he didn't take no for an answer. And I really don't like when people buy me stuff. Then I must buy something back or I will feel like a freeloader. So I bought us some ABSOLUT Raspberry shots and here we go again.
I don't know what time it was when I left. It was too late for any fireworks at Mall of Asia so I went to the Fort. But this the Fort has really turned to the worse and there wasn't very many places open. At least not what I can remember. I looked for the Japanese restaurant, but the restaurant was closed so no sushi and sake.
Thanks' to the OSO and the ABSOLUT I decided to go back to my hotel for some sleep. Yes, I was tired after a long day in school.
Saturday 20th of November 2010 and I woke up at 9 o'clock with a full force hangover. I stayed in bed until 5 o'clock when I went to Robinsons to buy a new pair of glasses. Yes, I know what you think. THAT I LOST MY GLASSES WHILE DRUNK YESTERDAY. No, I still have my glasses, but I decided to buy another pair so I have 2 pairs if I would lose one pair in the future.
They told me that I could pick up my glasses on Monday.
- I'm not here on Monday, but I will be back on Wednesday night.
I left the shop for dinner at Tempura. I had a mango & banana shake with my teriyaki and salmon sushi.
On my way back to the hotel I passed a Japanese shop and I decided to start making sushi at home. I will buy whatever they call the stuff to make sushi at the shop when I'm back from my training in Cavati. Or maybe it's better to eat the sushi at a restaurant. Start to cook rice and stuff just to make 4 sushi. Quicker to just open a can of tuna.
Darn, I felt bad at Robinsons. It was like the world was spinning and I hurried back to my hotel. The hangover milk never kicked in and the fact that it was a guiltless chocolate indulgence didn't make me feel any better.
Maybe a few San Miguel Light at Cowboy Grill will do the trick. But as I feel now it will be the bed for the whole evening. A wasted Saturday, yes, but I need to be full of vim Monday morning. But it was strange, when I was at Robinsons I felt like crap. But when I passed the stage and the live music I felt good again. And I was about to throw myself over a bottle of San Miguel Light. When I left I felt like shit again when I could not hear the music any more. As I always had said, music is the best medicine.
I was sitting in the bar talking with the American yesterday and I saw that he had a 10 pack of coffin nails. I have given up smoking, but right there and then I wanted to have a fag. So I asked him for one coffin nail.
- No problem!
- Are you giving up? I asked.
He was only having a 10 pack instead of the 20 pack standard size. So I thought he was giving up.
- No, I will start, it's dirt cheap to smoke here!
- What the
What about the beer? It's dirt cheap so I might consider going alcoholic. We're sitting in a nice bar, good music and I'm paying 40 Peso for a San Miguel Light. That's 28 Bath and that's about a fifth of the price comparing to Bangkok. And as you know I prefer to pay a little extra for quality so we have to add Aladdin's price index to the price.
40 peso + Aladdin's taste value and the beer are for free. Yes, if I pay 5 times more for a faulty tasting beer in Thailand it's like the beer is for free around here.
I decided to go for a few beers and I started at Cowboy Grill one block from my hotel. I had two San Miguel Light before I left. I stopped a taxi and I asked him to take me to Malate.
I got of not long from Paddi's Point and I walked up the street towards the roundabout. I stopped at a bar where they were playing good music. I had been there for a little when there was a band coming on the stage and it was really good, for about three songs.
After 3 songs they turned slow so I left the place after 2 beers. Next door was a disco bar so I stepped inside. I had not been there for long before a Canadian guy came inside.
I took his seat next to me in the bar. He was on his way to Canada from Australia where he was working. He had stopped a few days on the Philippines for some scuba diving. He told me that the best thing with Manila was that he had brought 25$ and he didn't know if it was too much. Yes, it's cheap around here.
I continued up the street and there was a band playing at the roundabout. Beer was sold so I had a beer and of course, when I had my beer they stopped playing. Obviously they have had a lucky draw. First price a DVD player. The winner was not there, or at least he didn't show up when they called him to the stage. They tried a second winner.
- Mr. Blah-blah
No one claimed the price.
- Ok, we count to 10 then we will draw another winner.
When they had the third winner and no one showed up I left in search for salmon sushi. My first stop and they only had tuna. Tuna is god on can, otherwise I'm not too fond of it.
Next stop and they didn't have any sushi and at the third place they directed me to a Japanese restaurant in Mabini Street with both salmon sushi and hot sake.
At the table behind me was a Japanese guy working in Manila and his friend.
- What happened with your friend? I asked
- He is tired.
His friend was dead drunk sleeping on the table.
Well, as this is a Japanese restaurant no one bothered. Japanese style. We talked and I had planned to return to my hotel after a sake and sushi. But he started to serve me something and I poured hot sake for him.
Of course, my plans to go home to catch some sleep went down the drain. My Japanese friend had never eaten sushi with sesame.
- What ...
So I ordered salmon sushi with sesame and we more hot sake. He was drinking something he called sake. Or it was almost like sake, but made out of potato. It tasted like vodka, but it was only 20%.
Well, it was nothing for me, hot sake has grown to be one of my favourites. Of course, only with salmon or avocado sushi.
What time I got back home? I have no idea. But it must have been around 4 o'clock according to my pictures. Way too late for an old fart like me.
Sunday 21st of November 2010 and I didn't get out of bed until 8 thirty in the evening. I went down to empty my safety box and I asked them to wake me up at 4 thirty in the morning
Monday 22nd of November 2010 and it was not bad when they called me quarter past 4 in the morning. I managed to fall asleep around 10 yesterday evening so I had got plenty sleep. I had checked out at 5 and I had a cup of tea in the restaurant when the car from Consolidated turned up.
I loaded my stuff in the car and I expected us to take off. Well, the driver told me that we were going to leave at 05:30.
- What the
No, they told me 5 o'clock or I could have got 30 minutes of sleep instead of staying here waiting. There was one more guy coming with us from my hotel and they had told him 05:15. What is this?
OK, we were on the way and now we stopped outside the Consolidated at Roxas Boulevard. Now the car was packed. I asked the driver how many passengers we were going to bring to Cavite.
Obviously I must have heard 7 when he meant 17. When we left Consolidated we were 17 passengers and the driver. Motherf@cker, is this safety?
When we took off we stopped after 50 meters to get yet another passenger. He was placed on one of those plastic stools, 30 cm in height. Then the driver closed the door pushing the guy on the stool in to the car.
I told them that we were on our way to a safety course and they transported us in a way that would have gotten us to jail in any civilized country. Safety first?
It was impossible to move in the car so it was very nice when we arrived just before 7 o'clock in the morning. I registered and I bought 2 orange juices in the cantina on the way to the class room.
There were quite a few of us taking the BOSIET course so we had to divide us in to two class rooms.
We were not allowed to leave the area during the breaks.
- Safety reasons!
- What a shit load of crap
Well, nothing to do except walking around checking out the area during the lunch break.
It was quite a big area and there were dormitories that were included in the price. But, well, I prefer to stay in a hotel. Meals and snacks are also included in the price. I had changed to my swimming gear and rubber boats. Now I was very happy that I had bought shoes in Manila.
We are required to wear rubber shoes when we do pour training in the pool and the shoes they have at the training centre is size 7 only. So I'm pretty glad that I have my size 12 rubber shoes.
They have 2 helicopter models, one on a helipad where they practice fire fighting for Heli deck response teams and helicopter landing officers. I must say that it looked nice around the site.
I was watching the people at the fire fighting course in action. It was not very much fire comparing to the fire fighting courses in Sweden, especially in Helsingborg.
But I think they are sadistic in Helsingborg, they are world famous for firing up the fires so it's impossible to get in to the houses to extinguish the fire.
Well, I will see if they can get some real fires around here tomorrow.
Well, we started in the swimming pool in the afternoon. I was in the pool while the rest of the class had their afternoon snack. It was hot so it was really nice to get in to the pool.
When the rest of the class arrived we started by getting dressed. That was the part I had feared the most. But no problem, as I said to our Teacher.
- Hell, I even have space to grow in the suit.
We started by practicing the use of our EBS. (Emergency Breathing System) A device used with a small bottle of oxygen so we can reuse the air by breathing in a bag. Gives us 1 to 2 minutes under water, more than enough to get out of a sunken helicopter.
We finished our training at 4 o'clock and we were transported to our hotel. It was me, 3 Filipinos and one Japanese going to the hotel. We have one British class mate living in Cavite so he drove home and the rest stayed at the dormitories at the training centre.
Tuesday 23rd of November 2010 and they called me quarter to six. I was tired even though I went to bed at 10. Of course, I was about to fall asleep after checking in to my hotel but I forced myself to stay awake. I didn't want to wake up in the middle of the night just to find out that it would be impossible to fall asleep again.
And I'll be darned, at 10 o'clock it was impossible to fall asleep at 10 o'clock and it took quite some tossin' and turnin' before I managed to fall asleep. So it took a hot shower before I woke up. I got dressed in my by now almost dry swimming clothes from yesterday and at quarter past six I went to the restaurant.
They started to serve the restaurant at quarter past six and our car should pick us up at 6 thirty. Our car was already at the parking lot waiting for us when I went to the restaurant.
- That's the spirit!
I needed one fag before we left for school. They told me that the shops across the street was closed so I went out on the road to see if I could find a shop that was open. There was one shop open so I bought one cigarette and I went back to our car.
We arrived to school a few minutes after 7 and we could start class. It was one more from the Hotel in the BOISET course, the others were taking Helicopter Landing officer and one guy was welding, at least I think so.
We had completed the emergency landing on water with underwater escape yesterday. Now we had to do the same, but with a capsizing helicopter. So we had to escape from the helicopter hanging upside down.
Yes, I was looking forward to our exercises, it was very fun yesterday and I expected it to be as fun today. And it's pretty fun to be in the swimming pool.
Our Instructors had been very impressed by me yesterday. Good or bad? I don't know. When they saw me at first they thought that there would be problem with me escaping out through the small windows. But no, I moved like a fish and they were amazed every time I finished a drill.
Our Instructor did the first capsize to show us how to do it and I will not bother you with any more pictures. Yesterday we had a stupid slide show so today I have made a stupid video.
Well, they took a few pictures of me and, well, I really don't know if this is something I want to have on the internet. J will never let me forget it if I don't upload the pictures so I'm better off.
I don't remember, but I think that me and my British class mate was the first out to do the capsize drill. We have to do three different drills. The first and we're only sitting in the HUET simulator and when the HUET simulator is upside down under the water we should escape through the windows.
The second drill is the same but this time we will use our EBS. Yes, we remember the bag from yesterday that we use to reuse our air under water.
- Why don't you use air tanks that they are using when scuba diving?
- Yes, why? Imagine a helicopter. No, next time on an airplane imagine all the passengers with scuba gear. And we only need air for a minute to get out of the helicopter.
The third drill was to knock out the windows when the HUET simulator was hanging upside down under water and then escape with the EBS. And what a difference with a window. Without the window it was real hard to stay oriented.
Yes, with the window you don't have all the water coming rushing at you from the open window. So it was easier with the window that we had to knock out under water.
Of course, there were trained divers in the swimming pool keeping an eye on things. And one Instructor is in the HUET to make sure no one dies. All the Instructors are EX military so they know the drill.
When we were ready with the HUET simulator we returned to the class room. We studied survival at sea before lunch. We will continue in class after lunch and later on we will return to the swimming pool for some training some survival techniques.
I had a bottle of water and a chocolate cracker for lunch and I decided to try the security again. But they refuse to let me leave the area.
- It's so dangerous out there.
- Hey, I will kick some Filipino arse
- They have guns and when they see your ear..
Well, if it is so dangerous they should call the Police. Enough of the “It's so dangerous” bull shit.
- I need a fag! I said and left the area.
There was a small shop just outside the gate, but they didn't have any fags. At least not any of the brands I wanted.
Amazing, a beautiful country and people just throw the garbage where they stand. And they live in this garbage. I asked the guard what the guy did outside the fence.
- He is planting something.
There was a small shack with a few dogs and one small shack with some chickens. He had a small field where he grew something.
Half the area was covered in plants and the rest was pretty much rubbish lying around.
The guard was nervous when I was outside the gate. He followed every step I took.
- Relax, if I run in to trouble I will kick some arse!
Everything is so destroyed, a beautiful landscape is destroyed by plastic bags and garbage. Same as I can see in Africa, South America and on the country side in Thailand. Just throw the garbage were you stand. In your house, in your garden or on the street is never mind.
Well, my guess is that we can blame it on poverty and lack of education. People are fishing in the creek at the same time they just throw the rubbish in the creek.
I grew tired of exploring the area and I returned to our class room for a chat with my British class mate. He is a Senior Driller onboard a rig in Indonesia so there is plenty to learn from him.
We meet in the class room after lunch. Survival at sea and we were going to practice what we learnt in the swimming pool after the afternoon brake. Good, it's hot and I'm looking forward to some pool time.
Before the brake we had to be assessed by the, yes, the Assessor in the use of first aid. Our Assessor asked who wanted to do the first aid test first. Of course I volunteered. That meant that I was ready first of all with the test. And that gave me 45 minutes of swimming pool time before we would start the training after the break. Very nice.
I stopped at the helipad on the way to the pool area. The helipad response team was training fire fighting so I stopped to have a look. I watched for almost 10 minutes before I gave up the idea to get some action picture. They were walking through the equipment so it would take them some time to start the fire. I decided that pool time was more valuable than a few pictures of a helicopter on fire.
I was swimming and enjoying myself when the rest of my class mates came.
- Where is your earring? Our Teacher asked.
- Must be in the pool.
Our Teacher told one of the guys working at the pool to check out the pool with his diving mask. He came up after 30 minutes with my ear ring.
- Thanks', you just saved me 30,000 Peso.
I was in a good mood, the ear ring cost 30,000 Peso so it was like finding 30,000.
I remember our first day in Cavite. Our Teacher asked us how many of us that could swim. I thought that he was joking, but it turned out that 4 out of 10 could not swim.
Well, swimming and we used life jacket. Good if you want to survive at sea, but I find it harder to swim with a life jacket than without.
Well, we started by swimming back strokes and when we were clear of the area where they jumped in to the pool we floated in the HELP POSITION. That means to cover your groin by crossing our legs and to cover our armpits. The groin and armpit is the area where you lose most heat in water. So this is very important.
Then we practiced to float in a ring, also in order to prevent losing heat in the water. We finished the swimming exercises by swimming in group. The last exercise before going home was to be lifted out of the water by a winch. The same winch they use to lift people with on helicopters.
The original plan was to take this course in January or February with my friend. So I never brought my water camera this time so I had to use my ordinary camera in the pool. And of course, I could not use that camera in the HUET simulator. That would have been some nice pictures.
Well, anyway, back to the winch lift. Very important to let the harness touch the water before touching it. Static electricity and the sling can give you a shock of up to 250,000 volts.
OK, now we had enough pictures of the human balloon. we finished for the day and when I walked back to the transportation to our hotel I stopped at the helipad to see if there was any action.
Our Japanese friend in the Helicopter Landing Officer course was training on the helipad so I knew that we would have to wait for a while before we could return to the hotel. He is living at our hotel so we have to wait for him. Good, I have a chance to dry up before going in to the car. I didn't bring any change of clothes so I have to change on my hotel.
Back at the hotel and I changed clothes while listening to the news on the TV. North Korea had bombed South Korea. What an f@cking country! NATO is losing a war in Afghanistan, North Korea is the country they should make a big Disney land out off. And of course, the stock market took a nose dive and I'm losing money by the minute.
I was not in a very good mood when I went to the restaurant for my dinner. Well, I was in a pretty good mood. We have completed the Helicopter Underwater Escape Training (HUET) and the rest of the course will be like a walk in the park.
I ordered a hamburger for dinner and I was served the biggest hamburger I ever seen. My diet took a nose dive.
I spent the night in my room updating my web page and I went to bed at 10. Same story again, impossible to fall asleep. Darn and double darn!!
Wednesday 24th of November 2010 and I was not full of vim when they called me at 05:45. But a vitamin tablet helped, of course it took a hot shower to really get me going. And by the way, it was the last of the vitamin tablets I bought in Gdansk last summer. Yes, we remember the vitamins with all the PLUSSSZ.
Of course, they did f@ck al to alleviate my hangover back in Gdansk. But I imagined that they helped this very morning. It took me quite some time to pack my bag. I have too much stuff so I decided to leave my tuna and can opener behind. Yes, the tuna diet has not been all that success full here in Cavite. Actually, I have not eaten any tuna at my hotel. I had a can of Tuna Paella for lunch first day at the training centre here in Cavite. But when I'm back in Manila I will get my tuna diet back on track.
My friends were already at the breakfast table when I came out to the terrace facing the ocean. A beautiful morning and this is what I will miss with Cavite, our early morning on the terrace.
I had paid my bill yesterday evening in order to save time this very morning. So when I finished my breakfast I only signed the receipt and I could go to our waiting car. I went for a quick fag and a mango juice across the street before we left.
We arrived to school 10 past 7 and we started our day by discussing abandon the rig. And when we finished we went to the lifeboat to see how it looked inside.
And as we were all present I took the opportunity to get a group picture.
They asked if I didn't want to be on the picture. I told them that there wasn't any room for me on the picture. But our Teacher called one of the staff to get our picture. And by then our Assessor was present so he joined us.
I asked my class mates who had been taken the pictures when we trained in the HUET simulator yesterday.
- It was me
Motherf@cker!! Here I have been under the impression that I'm looking good and when I'm at my hotel to check out my pictures I discover that I look exactly like the HUMAN BALLOON!
This discovery didn't make me feel any better, actually it destroyed my evening. And this might even be the reason for me to find it hard to fall asleep yesterday.
Wednesday 24th of November 2000 and ten will go down my history book as the first day I saw mango trees. At least what I was aware off. Mango, my favourite and I should now what they look like.
On the way back from the life boat to our class room I asked my class mates what fruit they were warning us from. There was a sign on all the trees: WARNING!! FALLING FRUITS!!
- What kind of fruit is it they warn us from? I asked.
- Motherf@cker, I wouldn't mind having a ton fall down on me!
I asked why we couldn't see any fruits. They told me that they were ready in May and the whole tree would turn yellow of mango fruits.
- Hmm, maybe I should come back by then.
After the break we had a fire extinguisher familiarisation. We started in the class and then it was hands on practice. The BOSIET course is a basic course and I have done both the life boat and fire stuff. Much more extensive training so it was like a walk in the park, if it wasn't for the heat.
The cool morning had turned in to a very hot midday under the sun. For me the lifeboat stuff was a waste of time, but you can't get too much practice with the fire drills.
When we finished the fire fighting we did a drill with an escape sett through a smoke filled room. First alone and then by group. Finished with the course. Now we were going to have an assessment and we could go home.
But I decided to stay for the afternoon. They were having a training module for Hydrogen Sulphide Awareness and I decided to participate. The seminar started at 13:00 so I had to kill 90 minutes waiting. Surfing the internet and no good news in Bangkok Post. And I quote Bangkok Post: “Australia said on Wednesday that Thai government-owned PTTEP's "widespread and systematic shortcomings" caused the worst offshore drilling accident in the country's history and created a massive 10-week oil slick.” and the best: “At the Stock Exchange of Thailand (SET) today, PTT stocks took a deep plunge.”
Yes, what goes down must come up and if the stock falls even more I can buy more in order to try to lower the average price.
So surfing the internet was no fun and I decided to go see how things were going for our farmer. Turned out that he had not been planting yesterday, he had been building a fence.
I don't know why he had built a fence, maybe afraid that the garbage would escape. 13:00 and I was back in class. I was wedging a fresh snus so my Teacher asked what kind of candy I was eating.
- It's snus!
- That's why you always have a swollen lip. Can I try one during the break.
- No problem!
I finished my assessment in 5 minutes and I had to wait for about 1 hour before the bus was going back to Manila. I was outside the class room when our Teacher came out.
- Hey, do you want to try?
- Don't eat it! And don't drive your care!
- It's not candy?
- No it's tobacco! For real men only!
- I used to smoke so I can take it.
He took a small piece and after a while he was running in and out from the class room spitting.
- Very strong, he said.
We left the training centre, well, we were scheduled for 16:30 but it was almost 5 when we left CTSI behind and we arrived to Manila around 6 o'clock.
We stopped at CTSI's office at Roxas Boulevard 1500. I picked up my certificates before we continued to our hotel. When I arrived to the hotel the waitresses were smiling and waving at me. The girl in the reception even remembered my name.
- Aladdin, welcome back!
I don't know if this is a good or bad thing. Good thing if they remember my name because of:
- Oh, it's the handsome Swede
Bad thing if they remember my name because of:
- Oh, it's Porky again
I had a shower in my room before I took off to Robinsons to pick up my glasses. Then I went to Mr. Quickie on the 3rd floor. I left my school bag for some last stitching and new leather before going back home. I asked them to hit the bag with some shore cream. They could not finish the bag before tomorrow lunch. Deadline for me, I have some stuff to do before my flight back home tomorrow night.
- How much will it cost if you put my bag in the priority line?
- 300 Peso
I gave them 500 Peso and I told them to keep the change
I went to scan my last 2 certificates from CTSI and when I was ready I went down to the bottom floor. Tempura, last meal before leaving the Philippines tomorrow. I had my Teriyaki while listening to the concert outside. Tuna Paella, when I was finished at Tempura I went to Robinsons Supermarket to buy a few cans so I had for my onion tomorrow morning.
Back in my room I connected to the internet. Lo and behold, it didn't take long before I got a reaction from my HUMAN BALLOON picture. E-mail from Bangkok with my picture and the subject calling me the Swedish Astro-nut. Well, I had it coming.
I spent the night in my room updating my web page and it will be nice with no wakeup call tomorrow morning. I need sleep after all my courses and then I will take care of my last things tomorrow before going to the airport for my flight back home.
Pick up my bag and then I will go to Norwegian Training Centre to get my new certificates. The name is misspelled on my DP basic certificate. And I will also pick up my passport with the visa extension at Norwegian Training Centre. Yet another full day in Manila.
Thursday 25th of November 2010 and I woke up at 7 thirty. My last day in Manila and I will take off to Robinsons to get my school bag at 11 thirty before going to Norwegian Training Centre.
I had a shower before going to the restaurant for my breakfast. When they brought my onion to the table the Waiter said: “Your favourite”. I mixed the Tuna Paella in the onion and I had 4 cups of tea before returning to my room.
I arrived to a crowded Mr. Quickie at 12 and yet again they managed to impress me at Mr. Quickie. My school bag is very old so the leather is cracking so they had put new leather covering the edges front and back. I had asked them to polish the bag with some clear shoe polish to soften the leather a bit.
I left Robinson looking for a taxi to take me to Norwegian Training Centre. But I decided to go for a hair cut first so I would look good at NTC.
Haircut and back and forth to NTC took about one hour. I had time for my lunch before it's time to pack my bag. I ordered a pot of tea and a bowl of onion to my room for 2 o'clock.
I told them that this was my last onion before going home later on tonight.
- I have been here for a month trying to find a wife and I have failed.
- Here are many girls that like you!
- We like you!
- You must be the only two beautiful girls that like an old and ugly guy
I asked them for the “LOOK STUPID TEST” and we had one of the Waiters to take our picture. And don't tell me it wouldn't look stupid if we were walking down the Roxas Boulevard looking at Manila Bay. You will look like my granddaughters.
I had my “TUNA & ONION SURPRISE” ® on my room before packing my last stuff. Then I went to check out and my pre ordered hotel taxi took me to the airport.
We arrived to the airport 15 minutes past 4 o'clock and I had expected Thai Airways check in to be open. Especially since they have told me to be at the airport AT LEAST 3 hours before departure time at 20:20. And they were not only giving the advice, they were actually insisting.
I asked the staff when they were going to open. They told me that they opened check in at 17:45.
There was a German guy coming up to the counter. He wanted to check in and they told him that he had to wait for an hour.
- No, That's impossible!
- Sir, they open at 17:45
- No, That's impossible!
The staff called someone and asked if he could check in as he was a business passenger.
- They will send one so you can check in.
I asked the staff if the flight was full.
- We don't know, we're China Airways.
- I thought you were Thai Airways.
Well, turned out that there was no one coming to let us check in. Well, later on the queue got longer and obviously there was a Filipina superstar because all the passengers and airport staff came for pictures and autographs. Well, good to know why the check in is closed.
When I finally had check in I passed the Immigration and the security I was off to the Thai lounge and a cold San Miguel Light and I was ready to take off to Bangkok
OK, it has come to my knowledge that we have senior citizens visiting my web page. How hard can it be? So it's not very easy for them to see the blue coloured links to the next page. So
Jiffy (also jiff)
noun [in SING.] informal a moment: we'll be back in a jiffy.
ORIGIN late 18th cent.: of unknown origin.
So as you understand, in a jiff pretty much depends on your internet.
I put a “Next” button here and I hope that there isn't any problem to understand how to use that one.
So just CLICK the “Next” button on your left hand side and you will be on the next page in a jiff!
Faites vous parlez le français? Pas de problème! Pour arriver à la page suivante faites s'il vous plaît un déclic le bouton “Next” ci-dessus!
Haga usted dice el español? No hay problema! Ver la siguiente página sólo hacer clic el botón “Next” encima!
Farla parla l'italiano? Non problemi! Per vedere la prossima pagina lo scatto per favore giusto Il bottone “Next” sopra
Sprechen sie Deutsch! Kein problem! Wenn Sie die folgende Seite sehen wollen gerade klicken der Knopf “Next” oben!