hadde blivit tokig när han började dra historierna om att bli accepterad i “Latino kretsar” med Chile mössan.
Tips Tack till Pierre.
enough for a disaster.
So let's see if we can do it a little different tonight.
gå och bära den jorden runt.
Valium is in a group of drugs called benzodiazepines. It affects chemicals in the brain that may become unbalanced and cause anxiety.
heart of Seoul, which is conveniently accessible by all types of transport. The scenic Mt. Nam and Bukak, numerous commercial districts and tourist attractions are just steps away from this property.
provide a perfect setting for the discerning traveller.
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My summer holiday 2009
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Wednesday 5th of August 2009 and, well, Aladdin is walking the streets as a civilian again. Nice to have left the ship after 2 months onboard.
Now I just wonder when it's time to go to the next ship. But I need some holiday first. We expected it to take about 1 hour to get us to Trollhättan. Our 2nd Officer had a mobile phone  with a GPS navigator. We had been driving for about 10 minutes when I asked him to turn it off. It was a talking GPS navigator.
- Can you please turn that bullshit off?!! I don't  need a GPS navigator to take us to Trollhättan.
When we reached Uddevalla it was time to leave the highway and we made a stop for diet drinks. We also had time for a quick fag  before we took off towards Trollhättan again.
Coming to Trollhättan and we had to drive around look for the Locks.  We arrived to lock #2 15 minutes before 3 o'clock and M/S Juno should be there at 3 o'clock. Of course, when we arrived the boat was in the first lock.
I was looking for a soft ice cream and I thought that I could see a flag with a soft ice cream on it at the kiosk on the other side of the lock. I went over with the 2nd Engineer to check it out. On the way to the kiosk we took a few pictures of the locks. Crossing the lock and we came to the old locks, not used any more, built in 1844. Well, something likes that if I remember it right. So they are more than 150 years old.
 Trollhättan) they opened the lock 5 of June 1844. And it was built  between 1838 and 1844.
And yes! They had soft ice in the kiosk and we ordered 2 soft ices and our 2nd Engineer and I was sitting on a bench watching people walking by. We had to wait for Juno because the guy signing off will go with us to Göteborg. He should have left in Göteborg, but we were delayed in London so he had to stay onboard waiting for our 2nd Officer to  join the ship. At least to say, we were getting irritated by the waiting. Our 2nd Engineer has a long ride to Kalmar to look forward to.
M/S Juno was in the first lock when we arrived and after 30  minutes we could see that she entered the last lock. When they were in the lock the off signer got off and the first thing he asked was:
- Why didn't you come to lock #1? We could have been on our way 1 hour ago! Arriving to Göteborg by now. - We didn't know about this. - I tried to call your 2nd Officer several times but no answers. For sure, this didn't improve our mood. But we were soon on our way to Göteborg.
 coffin nail before he continued on his way to Kalmar.
I checked in and I left for the city for some shopping. Nice to have finished this today and I can think about other stuff tomorrow. I managed to get to Josephsson's before they closed at 6 o'clock. I always have problem coming up with ideas (good ideas) for gifts and the AB on my watch told me about a gift he got a while back. - I got a piece of crystal with an elk milled in to the crystal - You can try to find it at Josephssons at Korsgatan.
- Try across the street. - OK, I will go buy the chocolate and you can wrap it for me as well. Coming back to Josephssons without any chocolate. They didn't have any chocolate boxes. But they gave me some wrapping paper at Josephssons so I can buy the chocolate some where else and I can wrap it when I'm back at my hotel room. I was back at my hotel at 7 and I asked for a wake up call for 6 o'clock tomorrow morning. Wednesday 5th of August 2009 and I have some erands to run before leaving for Lanvetter Airport
 bored. Wake up call at 6 o'clock and I had time for a shower and breakfast before leaving for the employment office. Now they have moved to Järntorget and it will
Göteborg to Frankfurt. A few hours of waiting in Frankfurt and then it will be nice to leave Frankfurt and next stop is FUNKY TOWN, and hopefully it will be a quick trip with a little help from a Rohypnol. I went for breakfast at 07:30 and I left the hotel for my 9 o'clock appointment at the employment office 10 minutes later. It was a 1 hour walk to Järntorget and I had to wait for 30 minutes. I bought a news paper and a diet drink and I sat down on a bench enjoying the sunshine while waiting. The girl from the employment office called me 10 minutes before 9. I had called here when I  arrived hoping for her to be there. She wasn't there and I told her that I would wait for her. They open at 10 o'clock so she has to come open for me.
- Where are you? - I will be there in 1 minute. Good service and I was back at my hotel at 1030. I had a quick stop for tea on the way. I prepared my bags and I was pretty much ready to leave the hotel at 11 o'clock. But taxi will not be here until 1215 so I called my friend in Thailand. He will arrive tomorrow afternoon and I told him that we were invited to an office party Saturday. It's my friends company and another company  that will start the Saturday with sports. Starting at 10 o'clock and no way I will make it until then. I'm expecting to wake up with a hangover. They have rented a place for the party so I suspect that I will be there in the afternoon.
My friend has 60 employees and I don't know how many people that will come from the other company. But there will be plenty people and hopefully I can blend in without sticking out too much. But of course, what are the chances for Charisma Man to stay unnoticed at a party with 50 office girls? I would say that it's a slim one!  They sent me a new taxi and I was offered a discount. 320kr is the price but I had to pay 200kr. We left my hotel 15 minutes late and we arrived to the airport just before 1 o'clock. Plenty time  to check in. I put my bag on the scale, it was heavy so I expected some complaints.
But the girl she was all smiling and she never checked the weight. 10 kg extra and I were happy when my suitcase disappeared on the conveyor belt. I had been worried about my suitcase and all the extra weight. My carry on wasn't much lighter and then I had my lap top to carry on top of that. - Do you have a gift in your bag? - Yes. - Is it crystal? So now we know how to test of its real crystal. Next time buying crystal of some shady character in a dark alley in Poland you can test it in an x-ray. But I guess it's too late to discover that you have bought cheap glass when you're at the airport. Well, anyway, he scanned the box one more time and when he came back he asked if I had any cans in my bag. - Yeah, I have 3 cans of anchovy. - Well, you’re not allowed to have liquid onboard so wither you have to check your luggage or I will keep the anchovy here. I knew that my friend would be disappointed if I arrived without the anchovy so I went down to the check in. My carry on was 11 kg, maximum allowed is 8 kg. It was a different girl this time and I had to remove snus and the transformer to my computer. Now we were just a wee bit over 8 kg and I could check in my carry on with the anchovy. The AB on my watch did not only recommend the place to buy the gift. He had told me about a new  restaurant on Landvetter Airport. I have not been on
I had 90 minutes to kill before my flight so I ordered tea and 2 salmon tapas and 2 Cray fish tapas. They had a take 4 pay for 3 deal going
 full and I will not have anything to eat for several hours now. But next time on Landvetter take your time to try out
 tapas is highly recommended by Aladdin. But don't forget to bring your valet.
Gate change and Lufthansa LH3043 left from gate 17 instead of gate 16B. A good thing Landvetter is a very small airport so no needs to trot around. I got a seat at the emergency exit with an empty seat next to me so it was OK. Taxi and 3 seconds after taking off someone was screaming somewhere back in the plane. I thought it was someone that had turned crazy. The steward was screaming in the PA system.  - SIT DOWN!!!!
I don't know what happened, but a few minutes later Captain asked if there was a Doctor onboard. - We have a passenger needing medical care. The tarmac was full of ambulances  and police cars when we arrived to Frankfurt just after 4 o'clock. Before  we could disembark we had to wait for the paramedics to do their business.
And Frankfurt, by now growing to the worst airport I ever have been on, parking on the tarmac and we had to go by bus to the terminal yet again. I didn't reach the terminal until much later and then I had to go het a boarding pass at Thai Airways. I was checked  in all the way, but they only gave me a boarding pass to Frankfurt.
I got my boarding pass and I asked about an upgrade. Yes, I have some social responsibilities to attend to when arriving to FUNKY TOWN. I missed my flight yesterday and my day of rest was a goner. So I can as well try to get as much rest as possible on my flight. Rohypnol or not, there won't be much rest back in monkey class - They will open the ticket office in 30 minutes. - OK, I go outside for a quick coffin nail.
I finished my fag and a diet drink but there was no sign  off any activities at the ticket counter when I returned. I was standing there waiting and when the lady finally arrived she had  to talk about the good old times with her colleagues before she could attend the by now irritating and impatient Aladdin.
I got my upgrade and I could leave for the gate. And comparing  to Frankfurt Brussels airport is a wonder of well planning and design. Frankfurt, security and Immigration, up the stairs, down the stairs, security control, passing trough the kitchen and trotting and trotting and yet another security control before reaching the lounge. I was half dead arriving to Lufthansa's lounge. 
And Lufthansa's lounge, well, I give them 5  out of 5. So you're better off staying well clear of the lounges. But of course, later on I was to discover the waiting area at the gate. Can it  be any worse?
Well, anyway, I was looking around for a diet drink at the lounge. I found f@ck all and I asked for a diet drink. - Yes, we have, she said pointing at a tap. - Don't you have bottled diet drink? - No! - What a waste of time coming here! I left the place for gate C8 with a stop at the TAX FREE shop. 12 bottles of rum and when I came to the cashier she asked if I was serious. - Of course, I am.  I left the TAX FREE shop and when I came around the corner trolleys were not allowed. What the...??!! Are you serious?
Now I had to carry 6 plastic bags and a lap top. Down a stair through yet another security check. Safety and terrorism. I had to check in my anchovy in Göteborg. - Your not allowed to carry on more than 100ml!  But 12 litre of rum is no problem.
- We put them in a special bag. I don't understand. they make bombs, flying in to buildings and they have millions of dollars. So why should it be impossible to open one of their special bags and put whatever they like in the bag and seal it again? I don't understand. But of course, someone will lose a lot of money if they close the TAX FREE shops and if they have to choose between losing money and neglected safety they choose, yeah, neglected safety. Exactly the same as it works in the shipping industry. Safety is very good as long as it comes cheap. Coming to the gate, first down a stair, through yet another security check and I'm not sure.  - Hmm, I think they can take around 370 passengers in a Jumbo Jet. But I can only see,  maximum 100 seats at the gate.
Up yet another ladder and we were on the airplane. The first Stewardess told me that I had a nice shirt before she took care of my TAX FREE bags. Nice to sit down relax after several hours running around with all my bags  and stuff.
They buckled up my lap top in the seat next to me and we were ready to take off. About time to get out of here. I ordered duck for dinner and while waiting for  my dinner I prepared my rohypnol. We started the dinner with some fish balls and then they brought salad and roast beef with potato salad.
- Darn ! I ordered chicken! But the roast beef was a starter and I was almost full when my duck arrived. On top of that they served cheese and cake. It was the biggest duck I ever seen so I turned down the desert offer. Same every time when you fly Thai Airways, you can't eat everything they offer you, there is plenty. I went to brush my teeth and of course, I ran in to the Stewardess. - Hello Mr. Nice shirt! - Hello. Miss Beautiful Stewardess! I was soon back in my seat pulling the blanket over my head and sleeping. 
Friday 7th of August 2009 and I woke up just in time for breakfast. Sausage, scrambled egg and rosti potatoes. Yeah, I think its called rosti. But it was delicious, and topping that with a bucket of tea and it was a great start of the day.    - Hmm, and since they have f@cked up Frankfurt's airport you can as well remove Lufthansa from the favourite airline list.
 This week will not make it to the book as a very long week of school days. The one day I had planned was down the drain due to the delays in London. Well, study or not, I had to go to the school to pick up my paper work for the visa extension. Before leaving for school I took my vitamin pills. Yeah, last time, at least I think it was the last time I was home. But it's strange that I hadn't come up with a great idea like this earlier. Well, I bought 7 shot glass, one for each day of the week. I prepare the shots Sunday evening:  1 MEGA MEN
1 FISH OIL
1 GINSENG 
1 GARLIC
A QUARTER OF AN ASPIRIN
  vitamins and I'm full of vim when I'm coming to school.
A quick shower and I was off to school to get my paper work in order and everything is prepared for my visit to the Immigration Office on Monday. After Monday I have to pay an overstay fee. 200 Scooby Dollars per day.  hmm, maybe 5 constitutionals while onboard. So it's time for the gym again after more than 2 months. BUT NOT TODAY!
Friday and my friend is coming to spend the weekend in FUNKY TOWN. We decided this already when I called him from Brofjorden when we loaded the ULSD for Thames. So I guess The Charisma Man is showing up as well. He is never far away when there is wine on the table.
I unpacked my bags when I came back home from Villa  Market and my Orange press ended up on my kitchen counter.
I also had time for a shower before my friend knocked on my door. It didn't take long before we were pretty drunk. And I went straight for the Obnoxious Man and I skipped the Charisma Man step. But there is a day tomorrow as well. Saturday 8th of August 2009 and yes, I started my day with 4 valium and I felt asleep again. I
My friend arrived at 1 o'clock to pick us up. The aircon  man had just left and it took us a few minutes to collect the empty bottles from yesterday and we were ready to go.
I don't know what I and my friend had expected. But obviously we were taken to a soccer field outside Bangkok for a day full of sport. Finish the evening with dinner and music. It's my friends company against one of his best customer and they compete in all kind of different games. I suspect that it’s more frolic and lark than competition. But we were looking forward to a day full of fun. But first we have to find the place, not all that easy. We stopped to ask for the way and we took the opportunity to buy a bottle of  water and my friend got a can of beer.
5 minutes later we arrived to a big school. - You cannot bring the beer when we're coming in to the school. We were a little disappointed, we had expected not only  games but plenty beer drinking. Well, we see what we have to do about this.
I could hear someone screaming ALADDIN when I got out of the car and it was my friend's wife. Dressed in green and this were their colour and the other team wear pink. I was soon finding out that the pink team had won everything so our hope was to win the soccer.
 up the soccer field stopping at 5 different chairs.
The team reaching the last chair won the relay race. They had to stop  at each chair eating stuff, finding coins in a heap of icing sugar etc. Well, while waiting for the relay race to start my friend's dog pissed on one of the contestants. Imagine standing there waiting to start the race and suddenly you feel something warm running down your leg.
Well, I and our driver sneaked away to buy some beer just outside the school. It's a fact that everything is more fun when you're a wee bit tipsy.
 they had won everything until the females in my friend's green team won the relay race.
Sneaking away buying beer and we were  brown bagging it to avoid attention. We failed, but when we started the rest of the people brought cases of beer and whiskey and it didn't took long before everyone was drinking having a good time. But it's a fact, it's more  fun being drunk. And of course, after 4 cans of beer I transformed in to  Charisma Man. And he is always welcome  when there is a party going on.
When the relay race was over it was time to start the soccer game. My friend was by now pretty disappointed, his green team had got their arses kicked in every event. Well, except the  women’s relay race.
- But we will kick ass in the soccer! I know this by fact, we're much better than the pink team. - OK, let's see about that, I said. I'm not very interested in soccer, but by now I had had 10 cans of beers and it was great fun. Especially since you have been drinking yourself handsome and you can talk with the girls.   they were going to win. I was not sure, can't say that I have followed the game that closely  busy drinking beer and mingling. But nothing is for sure until the final whistle.
They served food during the game but  I kept to the beer. There will be dinner later on and the Thai food is a wee bit too spicy for me. So I can as well wait until later and by then I will most likely be a  little more drunk and I can skip the food. Good for my diet and most likely good for the people sitting  at my table. Drunk and the table manners left a little to wish for.
Our team went from leading to losing. I don't know what happened, but I'm pretty sure the green team scored but obviously the referee had a different idea. All together I thought the referee did a poor job, but it might be me don't knowing the rules. Well, as my friend said. - OK, I'm 100% sure that we will win the volleyball. We have kicked their arses previous years.  - That’s what you said about the soccer as well.
- Yeah, but volleyball is our sport. - That’s what you said about the soccer as well. Volleyball, what a humiliation. But we do this for the fun  of it. Never mind winning, there will be dance and beers for all of us.
Well, at least I was feeling  like a winner , I had made it through the relay race, soccer game and Volleyball game without making a total tit out of myself. But the greatest challenge was yet to  come, dinner and dance. And by now I was well in to the state of being tipsy. Tipsy means charming but the Obnoxious Man is never far away.
I ended up on the same table as my  friend and his wife that had arranged the whole thing. My friend that was visiting me in FUNKY TOWN complaining.
- There is no girls dare to sit at our table. Well, he was soon to shut up. We ended up at.  Well, it was more like the most beautiful girls at the place came to sit down at our table.
Of course, when there are handsome foreigners in town this is the table to be seen at. And I haven't heard any complaints so obviously we behaved our self. The headmaster of the school and a Police were at our table to say hello to us. There were people all the time saying hello to us.   time for more pictures and good bye.
I should have gone home to bed, but I never learn.  Ratchadapisek Soi 4 and I ended up on Hollywood, a place I haven’t been on for many years and after that I ended up on a Hip Hop club. Great fun and I was back home way too late.
But at least I have the latest updates from Ratchadapisek, this is the place the girl at the airport is talking about. So next time I know what we're talking about. Sunday 9th of August 2009 and how fun was it to wake up Sunday morning. Not too bad with the  help of a few valiums. But believe me, I was in no hurry out of bed.
I and my friend went to the hospital in the afternoon. I needed a vaccination and I can as well do it when I have time. They are calling from Singapore so I don't know when I might have to leave for my next ship. We spent the rest of the afternoon at home and in the evening we went for dinner at Marriot. Nice end on a fun weekend. Tomorrow it's back to school and my friend is going home so things will pretty much be back to normal. Well, we have the next weekend to look forward to.   school before he returned home. I had not been in class for long until I was a sleep.
So I could as well leave school and I went to the immigration to get my visa extension. This took a few hours and I was not back in my second school until it was almost time to go home. Returning home and I was soon in bed and I slept until quarter past 7  Tuesday morning.
I had plenty time for tea and relaxing before leaving for school. I will also have a carpenter coming to look at my floor in the living room. Coming home and I discover that the wood floor has lifted at some places. Getting sea sick walking in the living room. So I have a Carpenter to come look at the floor. When he arrived he was more concerned about my booze. - You have to hide the bottles when the workers are   here. Or they might have a party.
And there is no more space for any bottles in my cupboard so I asked him to make an extra shelve as well. Then hopefully he can paint the ceiling in my apartment as well. So there is plenty job for him to do. Wednesday is a holiday so school is closed. I spent the day moving my stuff from my living room to my guestroom so they can start with the floor tomorrow. Holidays are boring, nothing to do and I went to check for potted plants at Ekkamai. Just to check, stupid to buy a lot off stuff now when  they are going to repair my floor.
Well, I ended up with a truck load of plants and this time I hope they survive longer than the previous plants. But coming home from school Thursday afternoon was a pleasant surprise. The floor was not as bad as I first thought. According to the carpenter it will be ready next week. Well, coming home and I discovered 9 missed call on my mobile phone. Yeah, I never carry the darn thing with me. And obviously my “LIFE COACH” are back in town. And as I told him: - You don't even have time to get off the plane before you call.  - Now I'm off the plane.... blah-blah... Now I'm passing the immigration...blah-blah..... I'm waiting for my luggage....blah-blah...OK, I'm now waiting for the taxi....
 - WOW!! Interesting! 
2 calls from the Philippines and 2 calls from what I suspect is from my friend in Korea. I need to have the info if I should make an airplane reservation for the 24th of August.  But I had a few word to put down on my web page so I was thinking about skipping it. But  30 minutes later agony hit me and I got changed and I left for the gym.
Coming home from the gym and I made a pot of tea before leaving for Villa Market. I need to fill up my fridge with mango so I have a little something to munch on Saturday morning. I just have this feeling that I might wake up with a  hangover. And what's better than having a few mangos handy when you have a raving hangover?
Valium? For sure, mango is much healthier. Plenty C vitamins and if you top it with a few B-12 vitamins (Of course, it should be the same size they use to give horses) you got yourself a real
  winner and that's what we're looking for.
It took me about 1 and a half hour to walk to Villa Market and back. Of course, most of the time was spent waiting for them to peel all the mangos. Back home I took a shower and I read a book I started yesterday. So tomorrow I will rise and shine ready for a new interesting day in school.  And we know what a few beers or a few glasses of white wine can do to the Charisma Man! I went to school making a fool out of myself in my training gear. My plan was to go straight from school to the gym. But the phone has been ringing all day. Started when I left for school. It was from Singapore. They wanted me to fly to Singapore on Sunday and to join the ship in the Black Sea 20th of August. Impossible, we know how my apartment looks like and at best the floor will be ready next Friday, the 21st of August. And I have to be in Seoul on the 24th. After school I had to go to the bank and then straight to my travel agency. My ticket is confirmed and I paid a little extra to get a 2 days stopover in Taipei on the way back to FUNKY TOWN. 
And of course, my friend’s information didn't make me any happier. He told me that's its 3 hours with taxi from Seoul Airport to the city but only 1 hour with train. Aladdin on the train and I'm instantly thinking of my horror trip from Bombay to New Delhi, I was thrown off two times. And I'm afraid that I will arrive to Seoul a wee bit tipsy. Well, when I was finished with my ticket business I went to the gym, better late than to skip it. I have to look  good tonight if the beautiful Filipina from my class shows up.
OK, honestly, my torso  wasn't really V-shaped when I came home from the gym. But it felt good, at least better than sitting home growing bigger and loosing hair.  - Hmm, it’s strange how it seems like I become swollen as soon as we land at FUNKY TOWN International.
Well, V-shaped or not. Som jag sa till dig Anders:  - E d inte grovhångel inom en timme sticker jag och skämmer ut mig någon annanstans! 
And as you can see on the picture above the Carpenters have turned my condo in to pandemonium. I really hope they finish my floor by Friday. Well, it will at least be interesting to come home tonight. To get out in the kitchen tomorrow morning to get my mangos will be a totally  different story though.
But now it's time for Charisma Man to take a shower and to get out there and let them know that he is available. Jo du Peter, den gammle klassikern kommer vi ihåg från Daily eller va d hette  Soi 8. It was pretty full so we had to take a table in the back. My class mate ordered a beer and I ordered a bottle of wine. Yea, it didn't take long for me to spill wine all over the table.
Next guy to show up was an Australian and a Filipina girl, I didn't know them. They are taking the afternoon classes, but they were nice people and it was all laughs. Yeah, well, Australians are usually easy to get along with. Then there was a girl from Burma coming, she  was also in the afternoon class so I didn't knew her either.
I was well in to my second bottle of wine when there was finally a guy from my class showing up with his girlfriend. There was another guy from my class showing up with his girlfriend, he had a glass of orange juice and the free BBQ and he was off. Well, I ordered my third bottle of wine and I was well in the progress of being tipsy. So when the rest of the guys went to play snooker I took off to Kaosan Road. Better to make a fool out of yourself with people you don't know than to  do it with people you have to see every day in school.
And Kaosan Road is one of my favourite places in FUNKY TOWN. 20 years ago it was a totally different story. It is still a back packers  heaven but at the clubs it's only Thai people. You walking the streets and you see all the backpackers sitting at the restaurants watching movies. 5 people sharing a bottle of water and you have to listen to stuff like:
- I travelled the world with 12 dollars. - I haven’t had a shower for 2 weeks. - I live in a room and they only charge 50 cent per day. - Yeah-yeah blah-blah. Why don't you have some fun instead. But leaving the street and you enter the clubs and its all Thai and it's very fun. I started at The Brick and the first thing happened when I entered the door was that a girl dressed in green handed me a beer. 3 bottles of wine wasn't enough and, well, it was soon time for Morfar to go home for a power nap. 
Saturday morning and I woke up at 7. I popped 4 of the magic blue and slept until my “LIFE COACH” called at 10.  - Jävla brustomte!!
We decided to go have lunch at Marriot and I had to sit wait there for him.  Strange, they make millions of dollars per month but they can't keep the time. OK, I ordered a glass of wine while waiting and one glass became 5 and 6 and before soon I was tipsy again. 
 - I will be there in about 2 hours I took a taxi and before leaving FUNKY TOWN I should make a stop at 7/11 to buy a few Bacardi Breezers. Well, they are not allowed to sell alcohol before 5 o'clock  so we had to leave FUNKY TOWN without any refreshments
The driver had to fill gas in his car before we entered the expressway. Since a few years back it's not allowed to sell alcohol at gas stops in Thailand. But luckily enough they had a few beers  at the kiosk.
- Do you like to have beer Chang? - I prefer to jump from a bridge! - Do you want LEO? - I prefer to jump from a bridge! But if that's the only thing you have I take 2 cans of LEO. LEO, well, it's not the best beer I the world and when we arrived  to our pit stop I left them behind. We stopped outside my store and  they recognized me instantly.
- Nice shirt! -Tell me all about it! - You're looking for Breezers? - Yeah, at 7/11 they only have Lime Breezer and then I prefer to drink from the toilet. We cracked a few jokes and I got my bag of Breezers and we were out of there. Leaving the pit stop and you are halfway to Pattaya.  Next time going and you want to have a few Breezers on the way stay well clear of 7/11 and stop at Atonrong. 50 meter before you reach 7/11. Friendly staff and a  good selection of Bacardi Breezers.
We were soon on our way and it didn't take long before I had opened my first Bacardi Breezer. Good music and a breezer, life is good and we're hauling arse on the highway. My Breezers were finished when we reached Pattaya and I really needed to stop at a toilet. I had no clue were my friend lived and there were no gas stop as soon as we had left Sukhumvit. But we found a restaurant and I could discharge the breezers. 
We saw my friend at the roadside and I got the drivers phone number.  - Call when you're going back.
We went in to the Mini Mart and got a bottle of ABSOLUT Raspberry. J's favourite and we still have plenty horror memory  from the time me and J were drinking ABSOLUT Raspberry.
But there is something special with this ABSOLUT Raspberry. You’re getting hammered before you have time to say HEY! And I will never buy it anymore. But tonight we had us a few Raspberries and we took off towards the disaster,  it ended up with my friend having to put on my shoes.
- Hmm, strange though. Never mind how drunk I am I never forget to get a few pictures for my web page.
Saturday night and Pattaya was empty. I never seen so empty  streets and bars before. Me and my friend was alone in “OUR” bar. This is the place where I use to sit, next to the hotel I live at when I stay overnight in Pattaya. And I always get the remote to the entertainment center.
 - DARN! I never grow up!
But when its party good music is important. And when you have a good time times turns quick and suddenly I found out that it was 2 o'clock in the morning. Time to get back to FUNKY TOWN, actually, I had planned to end the evening at Ratchadapisek. But when the taxi driver woke me up at my condo it was 0430 and I went straight to bed.  SCHOOL WEEK AGAIN   tuna, listening to P3 Hip Hop and writing a few words on my web page.
I was in school in time and I was almost falling a slept during  class. I had been up since very early and I'm also alone in my class so it's not all that fun. But I survived 3 hours and I was off to next school 10 minutes before 1. School starts at 1 o'clock but I was a wee bit late. I made a quick stop at a tailor to check if he  had some new fabric for some new shirts. He was going to check in to it and I will be back when I'm back home from Korea.
I was in a hurry home after my second school. Today they are putting in my new floor and I have to choose wall papers. I love my red wall papers, but they have a pink wall paper that, well, at least the sample looks very good. I need a thick vinyl wall paper in my entrance because my yellow wall paper is cracking in the joints between the boards they put up when we made the new wall. I didn't found any “VERY” nice  wall paper. But I think I will go for a light blue and it will go nice together with the pink wall paper in the living room.
Decisions, well, I sent a picture of the wall papers to my friend and I hope he can help me make up my mind. I also invited my friend and his wife so they can make the decision for me. And if it turns out like shit I can always blame it on them. They finished the floor at 5 and tomorrow they will sand it and hopefully it will be ready on Thursday. Friday, if it turns out like I want they can paint the ceiling and put up the wall papers. And then we can drink Captain Morgan and stain my new Persian carpet I bought for my living room. Well, I think we stick to only white wine or pure vodka from now on. Coming home from the gym and I spent the night taking out all my glass and CDs from my living room. The glass has been hanging in the cupboard for 5 years so they really needed to be cleaned. But the CDs, I decided to get rid of them. This must be my worst investment ever. 20-30,000 US dollars and today its worth exactly ZIP. Tuesday morning and I woke up at 07:15 again. Well, plenty time for tuna and tea while checking out info about Taipei. I need to book a hotel and I don't want to live in the, well, boring area.  Party and night life is what I'm looking for.
I found taiwanfun.com and I will check it out before booking my hotel.   while I was in Sweden. He had studied between 1 and 3 o'clock Tuesday and Thursdays. I study between 1 and 3 o'clock so when I came back he didn't bought new hours.
Well, anyway, I asked if he was going to continue his studies and he told me that he didn't want to go alone so I came up with an idea. - OK, let's go together Tuesdays and Thursdays. When I arrived to school yesterday I almost did a somersault coming out from the elevator. I was hit in the face by a terrible stank and the Teacher told me it was some old milk in a pipe. And it was not any better when I arrived today. My class mate was in school when I arrived and he wanted to empty the fridge to check out where the terrible smell comes from.
 - You have to clean the place!
- They invented the soap hundred years ago, my class mate said. - You have to do something, I said - There is another invention called a brush, my class mate said. It's down in the pipe, I will buy some stuff tomorrow, our Teacher said. My class mate offered to bring an ionizer tomorrow to clean the air. -If there is a stank there is bacteria present and the ionizer will take away the bacteria Our Teacher got more and more annoyed and she almost lost it when we suggested that she should move out the fridge. - It's not in the fridge!!! - I will bring the ionizer tomorrow. Free of charge! - I'm going to buy something to put in the pipe! - If you like to spend money I can charge you for the ionizer, my class mate said.  I had not had this fun in school for ages, well, of course, except for the unbearable stank. It became kind of boring at my morning school when my class mate gave up his Thai studies.
Always something happening when he is around and I always liked a few laughs.
 about the horrid stank.
- It's not that bad, she told us. - Of course, you have been sitting in this stank for a few days. I almost capsized as soon as I got out of the elevator, I said. I used a whole can of air freshener in vain. - Light up some incense, we suggested. - Cannot, then the ghost will come.  I was flabbergasted, are we going to have to sit in this  stank just because you’re afraid of Ghosts?
- You're joking right? - Ghost never comes out in the daytime! They are only showing up during the night and then no one is around to see them in  school, my class mate tried.
I could not believe my ears, its 2009 and people are afraid of ghosts. Coming home from school and I could hear the noise from my apartment, today they  were going to sand my new floor. I opened the door and it was like walking in to a wall. Sanding of my floor was in progress and I could  not even breath. I had to go out and on the way to the coffee shop down the road I meet the owner of the company that did my condo.
- Impossible to get in to the apartment, I said. I was going to select wall paper today and I had decided to go for the pink and blue one. But the samples were in the apartment so we had to go drink coffee making plans for the rest of the work. I really hope they are ready on Saturday. Thursday morning they will but the last layer on the floor and hopefully they can start to paint the ceiling in the kitchen and  corridor Thursday afternoon. Painting the living room on Friday and put up the wall paper on Saturday.
Guestroom and bed room has to be done when I'm back from Korea. But I'm confident, this is the first Thai contractor that hasn’t complained when I gave him a suggestion on a working schedule and we worked out the schedule at the coffee shop. While at the coffee shop they called from the apartment and they told us that they had put the wall paper samples outside my door. We went to pick up the samples and of course, the blue wall paper was out of stock and it was 3 weeks delivery time from Germany. So I had to choose a yellow, well, more like a lime coloured wall paper for my corridor. But they had the pink wall paper in stock so my living room will be pink.  a no show and we will see when I have time for my next session at California WOW. Hopefully I can spent Friday moving back my  stuff to the living room.
My guestroom, will for sure not be ready before I'm off to Korea. I sent pictures of some wall paper I had in mind to my friend in Pattaya for some advice. He agreed on the red one and that was the one I had in favour as well. But the one with the stripes was not bad either. But of course, now I have more time to go look for wall papers with brighter colours and we will see how it will look when we're ready with the condo. But red will go nice with the curtains that I bought in Sweden and for sure, I don't feel like going to look for new curtains again. Wednesday morning and I was somewhat relieved by the info I found about the travel time from Seoul Incheon International Airport to down town Seoul, one hour. That's more like it. 3 hours as  my friend said. I don't find any info about any 3 hours with car to down town Seoul.
At least I don't have to go by train. Imagine me a wee bit tipsy being thrown off at every station. I remember travelling from Göteborg to  Helsingborg in Sweden. The threatened to call the Police and to throw me of at every station. Captain Morgan was floating all over the floor and my boom box was on full volume.
Well, or as when me and my friend went on a day trip to Helsingborg to go to a party. He was puking  through the window and, well, use your imagination. The puke splashed on all the windows in the back of the car. People were complaining and they came to our coupé complaining.
- We haven't seen anyone throwing up! - OK, sorry to disturb. Helsingborg, a dangerous place and we remember the last horror trip we had to Helsingborg. At least J, the driver and the girl, no name mentioned have it  fresh in mind. Well, we should take a taxi to Helsingborg to attend a party. It's a 2 to 2 and a half hours ride. I think we had agreed on a fixed price with the driver, 4 or 500 US Dollars.
Music is important for me so I was up front being in charge over the entertainment centre. We're hauling ass and it didn't took me long to get the concrete hat on. We're just coming up on the highway when the girl asks J if he is sick. - No, why? - It smells like puke in the car. Well, it's our hero sleeping against the drivers shoulder throwing up all over the driver. And the strange thing was that he never said anything.
 the Norwegian border. They took us off the train  and we had to spend the night in jail. So I think I'm better off in a taxi to down town Seoul. Doing my best to avoid any more mishaps. And seriously, I'm too old going around  the world with a plastic bag in front of me.
Before leaving for school I made up my mind for a hotel in Taipei. Ambience Hotel Taipei and I read some of the comments from people that have stayed on the hotel. And they seem to like the hotel, but I didn't found any info about the night life. But there is taxi and it looks like the hotel is situated smack in the city. I only read on complain about the hotel. It was a 10 minutes’ walk to the underground or whatever they have in Taipei. But who cares? I will not spend my days in Taipei on the underground.
 wanted me to get a picture of them
I was alone in my class again. It's both good and not so good. You have the Teacher for yourself, but to sit and hide in a class is better. And the beautiful Filipina in her Bangkok University Uniform is in the other class. - Why can't I be in this class? - You can if you want, but you are more advanced than they and it will be slow for you. - But we're in the same book. - You should actually go to book 2. - I will do that when I know book 1. My plan is to do my 180 hours in book 1 and my next 180 hours will be spent with book 2. No short cuts. OK, I knew the words, but the tones it’s a pain in the behind. So my plan is to find a Teacher for the weekends. 2 hours on Saturday afternoon and 2 hours on Sunday afternoon and we can concentrate on the tones. And we can do it in my home so I don't have to run around town if I by chance am suffering from a hangover.
 Christ, as a Greenpeacer I can't spend a can of air freshener (Slowly killing all life on the earth) just to make it bearable to sit in class.
I left class early because I had to go to Immigration and to yet another stupid re entry permit. This student visa business wasn’t a very smart thing. My passport is full of re entry permits and I doubt that I will apply for a new student visa. Well, anyway, work in progress with my floor and I'm not allowed to be back home before 5 o'clock. I expected it to take an hour or so at the Immigration. Was I mistaken or what? As soon as I entered the Immigration office and I steered my step towards counter 7 for the re entry permits they started to scream “Khun mai mi mia” and they waved me to the counter and took my passport and I had my re entry permit in 2 minutes. - Where are you going? - I'm off to Korea. - What are you going to do there? - I'm going to look for a wife. - We have plenty Thai girls in Bangkok! - Yeah, but they don't like ugly Swedes! We cracked a few jokes and I was out of there. The people waiting in line must have wonder who  the hell I was.
- Why is this ugly bastard getting the VIP treatment? And it’s scary, they recognize me everywhere I go and, well today it was good. But sometimes it's just nice to be able to sneak by without any notice. OK, this went very smooth and now I had time to kill until 5 o'clock. So I stopped for a dinner and I was home at 5 o'clock. Work was still in progress and they told me that I could be back at 8 o'clock in the evening. 3 hours to kill and I went to look at a Persian carpet around the block, 10,000 US dollars. A beautiful carpet, but why does you always felt f@cked over when they start with “You are my friend” and “Special price for you” bull shit. I would not mind having the carpet on my floor, 4x3meter and it would have looked excellent under my sofa and arm chairs. But this Persian carpet  could as well be an old rag from Pakistan.
- We give you a certificate and it's stated that’s a Persian carpet. - Yeah, I can go out and by a watch saying it's a Rolex. I continued my walk around looking for carpets when I passed a massage place with a picture of fishes eating on a foot. I heard about this and I decided to try it out. And I can kill some time being eaten by fishes and it will soon be 8 o'clock. Putting my feet in the fish tank ant it was tickling and I was almost getting out again. But you got used after a while and after 15 minutes it became kind of boring. So I was happy that I only paid for 30 minutes and not 1 hour.
- Yes and??!! - I use to see you there. - Do you like disco? The other waitress asked. I made a mental note not to go to GLOW again. Well, at least not when I'm sober. But if all the waitresses in the neighbourhood have seen me sleeping at GLOW I might be better off changing place to be seen at. As far away as possible from the Soi 23 area. Thursday morning and I was dead tired when my alarm went off at 8 o'clock. I didn't felt asleep  until maybe 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning. It might have been due to my fish tank adventure. But most likely it was due to my new investment account.
I was at Bangkok Bank's head office at Silom the other day. The head office has the  most beautiful girls and we still have the “Do you want to join us for a beer at world trade centre tonight? ” incident fresh in mind. Yeah, fat chances I will go drink beer with the  girls from Bangkok Bank. We know what kind of mishaps I'm experience after a bottle of vodka or two and I will have to stay WELL CLEAR of any Bangkok Bank branch for the rest of my life. Hmm, or I can go for the option to be drunk every time having to do some bank business.
 - YEAH!!! THAT'S IT! I will gladly accept next invitation to go drinking an amber.
Well, anyway, I wanted to buy some stocks. But they are only allowed to sell funds. - But we have a subsidiary. I will call them, they are in the building next door. I went out for a quick fag and when I was back in the guy from BUALUANG SECURITIES was at  place waiting for me. We did the paper work, it took us some 10 to 15 minutes with all copies  and signatures. They charged me 30 Scooby Dollars to open an internet account for trading with stocks and their fee is 0.25% and 7% vat on the 0.25% fee.
So it's pretty cheap. I got login and password yesterday and I managed to log on to my account. But there it came to a full stop, I could not find the account number to my account so I could transfer my funds, and well after a while I lost my temper and that might have been the reason for me to having a hard time falling asleep. But he called me this morning in school and now the account is up and running. So I spent most of my time sleeping in morning school. But afternoon school with my former class mate from Walen and it  was impossible to sleep. It was frolic and lark from the first second.  Maybe a waste of money, but at least I can pick up a word  or two of Thai. And most important, it's hilarious.
Today my class mate had brought incense to get rid of the horrid stank at school so it was bearable to study. Well, 2 hours of school and 1 hour 50 minutes was spent skylarking. Coming home and my floor was ready. I called our handy man and he fixed the cable to the TV in my guestroom. Jo du Anders, nu har du TV i ditt rum. But I had to skip gym today again, 3 day in the row. I have to empty my kitchen so they can paint tomorrow. And hopefully the wall paper will be up on Saturday. And I can't wait to see my living room with pink wall paper. 
 Cleaning my apartment and preparing for the painters tomorrow. Before going to Foodland to buy milk I made a final decision. Yes, Musik Skatten will become history. Well, I had already almost
It will be nice to get rid of the garbage. All those CD's and money spent for, well, I can't say nothing. But today it feels like a waste. Or as one guy said when he was looking at some pictures I had from a party at my place. - Did you have the party in a record shop? Friday morning and I still don't know if I was lucky with my choice of hotel in Taipei. I know a Taiwanese girl in Stockholm and she helps me out a lot. But the spelling, searching the internet and they spell the same road in 1000 different ways. But it seems like we got it right and the hotel is 1000m away from the  action. But for sure, I will find out in a week. I would not be amused  finding out that I'm going to have to stay with Farmer John at some fruit market.
Well, I'm out of here, the Painters are coming and I don't want to hang around. 
Last day in school for a while, I'm off to Seoul next Monday and of course all the Teachers wanted  me to buy Korean snacks for them. This seems  to be a Thai thing. I remember when sightseeing with Sue. She bought snacks for her friends from every place she visited. And why not, a nice thing to do and when in FUNKY TOWN do as the Thai does.
Well, we see. During the break I asked the Teacher to write a list of what she wanted. It's not like I'm an expert on Korean snacks and all I got was here  phone number. Well, I wished.
I got the note saying “arai go dai” meaning anything will be good. I took the note and I said: - I didn't want your phone number!!! The other Teachers got chocked and my Teacher got embarrassed and  she snatched back the note to show the other Teachers that there was nothin' even remotely reminding about a phone number on the note.
We see about the snack, I will travel with my weekend bag only and, well, there is the chance that I will forget it. But as I told my friend the other day: - You must try to stick to your word. And it would be slightly embarrassing to tell the Teacher that  it's too much job buying the darn snacks.
What do I know about Korean snacks? F@ck all, but I spent the whole Friday afternoon finding out on the internet. - Friday and Aladdin is spending the day on internet finding out about Korean snacks??!!
Yeah, coming home in a good mood. Painting was in progress and they had  almost finished the apartment when I came home.  - What the hell??!!!!!
They have painted my apartment with grey colour. Motherf@cker! Lucky it was  Friday and I had no afternoon school and now I managed to stop them in time. The son of the owner was in my apartment when I came home so I told him to get some white paint over here on the  double. I told them to stop painting immediately and what the hell, who the hell wants’ to have a grey ceiling?
But this company is a good company and it's usually no problem. The owner was over within 10 minutes and they could start the ceiling with white paint. But we were delayed by hours. A good thing? Maybe, for sure, if it wasn't for the delay while I had to sit in my nook with my computer I would not have had a clue about what different kind of Korean snacks there was. Spicy dried rice, Pizza dumpling, Breaded pincer, Breaded scallop cake, Yam samosa, Takoyaki ball, Siew mai and Har kau. What the hell is all  this? I still have no clue, but at least I'm aware of the existence of all these snacks. But I can't help wondering what's wrong with peanuts and a bottle of vodka?
- Hmm, maybe that I'm looking like a balloon?
Friday night was spent cleaning my apartment???!!!!! No wine and thus no hangover tomorrow when they come to put up the wall papers at 9 o'clock. Saturday morning and I was out of bed at 7 o'clock. A quick cuppa and I was off to 7/11 where they have a great selection of diet drinks. I have a 7/11 70 meters from my place if I walk towards the university. First time I use this 7/11 because I never knew about it until one day when I decided to go look at the beautiful girls at the university. - HEY! There is a 7/11! I don't need to walk all the way to Asoke. I was back in good time before 9 and the “Will the workers arrive in time?” excitement. Who  knows? 9 o'clock means f@ck all in FUNKY TOWN.
The workers arrived at 9 o'clock and I'm more and more impressed by this contractor. I bought the condo 2000 and I moved in 2005 and who knows? If I had found this contractor back in the year of 2000 I might have been able to move in 2001. I ended up with a Finish guy from  Pattaya with a useless British Manager. What a waste of money and time. I will never forget when they proudly yes, proudly came to show me a door they had installed.
- ALADDIN! ALADDIN! Come look, we're ready with the door you asked us to do.
WHAT THE F@CK! After years of tearing my hair. Yes, I'm bald today. They came up with this  and I gave up. I felt on the floor laughing. I was screaming of laughter.
- You f@cking nitwit and good-for-nothing. I did better looking huts in the woods when I was a child. But they had one guy looking professional. I was surprised one day coming to the condo. There was a guy wearing a tool belt. He was in charge to install the teak doors. He f@cked up teak doors for 30,000 Scooby Dollars before lunch when he said: - Gin Kaow! He left and I showed his work to the Manager. - You are losing a lot of money here! I told him. Well, The tool belt guy never came back and the decoration company left. I found another I had a nitwit, from Bangkok this time. - No problem, I fix this is no time! Well the only thing he said was that there was no problem. - Don't you think you should start with the work? - We will be ready in time and no use to start too early. He had a couple of guys sitting in my Master bed room smoking and drinking beer and the only thing they managed to do was to f@ck up the drain from the balcony.
- We will not be ready with the wall paper in time. Nothing was ready when he should have been ready and he said that this was only the “Small things” and he requested payment. I will not pay you Motherf@cker. - Then I will talk with Immigration so you're not allowed to come back to Thailand. - Go ahead! Maybe you have better success doing that than to decorate my condo! I think I had 11 different decorators and after a few weeks I had to leave FUNKY TOWN. I  mean, I'm coming to FUNKY TOWN delirious with anticipation only to find that they f@ck up everything.
So of course I went crazy and it seemed like every Dollar spent was a waste. I had high hopes in the beginning and it was fun spending money with a picture of a beautiful condo in mind. I bought light switches, handmade in Skåne  and of course expensive and beautiful. A few thousand dollars and when they put them on place I was about to cry. I could as well have bought 25 cent switches at HomePro.
My “Life Coach” was helping me keeping an eye on things when I got tired. But as he said: - After 3 days with this people and you can’t sleep and you’re frustrated every day.
 old driving my Teacher crazy.
- Hmm, might be a good thing. We're saving the rainforest
I know f@ck all when it comes to carpentry but still I had to spend all day  showing these people how to do their job. Well, I was lucky to find California Kitchen, the first professionals I dealt with in Thailand and this company working here now it's a good one. Only wish I knew about them some 9 years ago. But nice to know they have good and skilful workers in Thailand. I always said that I will never buy any condo in Thailand again. But now, who knows?
And a word of advice if you're thinking about buying a condo. Stay WELL CLEAR of any Beach Boys from Pattaya and any washout foreigners in Bangkok. I mean it, they live on other foreigners coming to Thailand only trusting other foreigners. And if they are so good why don't they stay home making millions instead of pestering us in Thailand. - Oh! I'm here because I love the culture. - Bullshit! You’re nothing but a sex tourist running a lousy company.  At least that's what I use to say when they ask me what I do in Thailand.
- I'm a sex tourist. - I don't believe you! You're here for the cheap booze. OK, this holiday has been a, not a waste, but my Thai studies have been neglected. At least my home work. I have only studied home one day and the rest of the time has been spent cleaning and preparing for the workers. We remember my last holiday with plenty fun and plenty school work. This is what I'm looking forward to after the wall paper guys have left this afternoon. But now it is nice when they are almost ready. And I can spend hours with my web page (Pissin' and moaning) while they are putting up the wall papers. When they finished the corridor they went for lunch and when they came back they started with the living room. Hopefully  they will be ready so I have time to get my apartment back in good order before too late and Charisma Man  can go have a nap at GLOW.
 took the pictures from my bed room to my living room now when the CDs are gone. I mean my “BERLIN 1989” was fun 20 years ago. Now they just make me sick.
Last time in Manila I found an artist Mr. Joseph Bañez. Great pictures and I will have a look for him next time in Manila. I bought Adrian Morales, now hanging in my living room last time, great pictures but a wee bit boring to only have one artist. When my pictures were up and the worker left I started to move back all my booze and to clean my apartment. I was pretty satisfied with the wall paper. It's not very easy to choose from a catalogue so you have to use your imagination.    my neighbours won’t hear any difference. Most likely I have to buy a smaller bench, but that will be a later problem, and I can always put a holly pisspot or something on the darn thing.
At 6 o'clock I gave up the cleaning. I hadn't been eating for the whole day and I was hungry. So most of the stuff is ready and I can do the last stuff tomorrow. I made white cabbage and chicken and after dinner it was time to go drink wine. Lucky or unlucky, it was pouring down outside and I won't stick out my nose in that weather. But it will soon stop and I can go make a tit out of myself. Never mind, I will not be seen in the area again for at least a week. Jo du Anders, nu ligger dom gammle Persianerna på plats. Ska vi se när vi får första Captain Morgan fläcken. Men ska man dricka Captain Morgan får man sitta vid “The little table” eller på skam pallen. Fan jag höll på att stava skam med 2 m. Jaja, som d kan gå. This was a message in Skånska, so if you don't understand Skånska you at least you know you got  the real deal. No one skimming, pishing or spamming or whatever they call it. You're on the original aladdin.st.
A va fan Anders, nu sitter man inregnad i FUNKY TOWN. Exakt hur roligt e d på en Lörda kväll?
    
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